Point of Choice – Step 11 Personal Revelation

I want to wake up early and spend time with the Lord before I spend the day with His siblings.  I’ve struggled with this desire my whole adult life.  I like the idea of “early up” when I’m “up,” but many a morning I battle against “early up” ‘because I’m “down” snuggled in my covers.  This morning my internal alarm went off just before the “early up” alarm on the dresser, the one I often ignore except for the few seconds it takes to turn it off and return to my pillow.

This time was different though—“This is the Point of Choice, Nannette”—In the haze between sleep and wake these words lit up my mind and could not be ignored—The Point of Choice.

So here I am in the wee hours of the morning with time to spend with God.  My pen, my notebook,  a little “Jenny Oaks Baker” playing ever so quietly, and my Book of Mormon and a few other things I like to study, all smiling at me like children knowing they are going to receive a little quality time today.

Point of choice—I bet there’s a point of choice when it comes to any good the Lord would have us do.  It doesn’t have to be “early up.”  Everyone doesn’t feel the call to rise at the crack of dawn, but I imagine that for all of us there is a call to do something that we have met with resistance.  The point of choice is just that moment in time when we can, if we will, choose to figuratively throw off the covers and put our feet on the floor and switch on the light.  It’s a single choice—something simple that sets in motion some good work the Lord wants to do in us and through us.  It’s the next right thing. It’s a barely measurable point in time when, with a single small act, the Lord can make the most of our time.

There must be hundreds of points of choice every day, and if well cared for these little choices bring a little more health, a little more love, a little more service, or rest, or peace of mind, a little step in the right direction in any area of life.

The Point of Choice—Something worth watching for today!

By Nannette W.  Posted Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Help” – Step 11 and Prayer

At my coxing Esther wiggled out of her mother’s arms and crawled over her daddy’s legs onto my lap. She soon recognized that her Grandma was ill prepared with the standard equipment traditionally used for entertaining toddlers during Sacrament Meeting, ie. Cheerios, Sippy Cup, board books etc.

I quickly inventoried the contents of my empty-nester church bag for anything that might possibly capture her attention. I put a squeeze of lotion onto her baby girl palm and rubbed her hands together. Next I used a few pages in my steno pad/journal and to the best of my pitiful ability drew simple familiar objects for her which she practiced recognizing: tree, flower, house, cat, ice cream, and truck. That was the extent of what my purse had to offer and the benediction was not in sight.

With resources running out and wanting to enjoy her company as long as possible I remembered I was wearing my missionary badge. This badge is attached to my Sunday clothes and held in place with set of magnet. I removed it from my blazer and succeeded in fascinating her with the magic of the two magnets. I placed the badge along with the second magnet in her little hand. For a few minutes she was quite captivated. She pulled the magnets apart and then observed the mystery of having them snap back together. Then the fun came to an end. The magnets snapped together in such a way that it was impossible for her to use her little fingers to pull them apart.

I was sure she would soon break into a toddler tantrum. Time for Grandma to help! She was sitting face forward in my lap, and before I made my move to rescue her from frustration she turned her little head so her blue eyes met mine. “Help” she simply said in the most peaceful trusting voice I have ever heard.

I have many times been taken aback by the over the top response of a child to a simple frustration. The sound of the wining that escalates into an outright inconsolable uncontrollable tantrum (theirs and mine) seems to linger and sometimes cloud the atmosphere of the home long after the problem is resolved. When my grown kids and I sit around on a Sunday night and reminisce, these loud, intense, crazy moments in our past are easily remembered.

Curiously I don’t know if I will ever forget Esther’s pure, trusting, simple request for help that day in church. It made a striking impression on my mind and on my heart. I leaned back on the bench and thought about how difficult it is to help a child who is beyond help. They become so worked up over their need and so very sure they aren’t going to receive help fast enough or maybe not at all, that they couldn’t recognize it if the National Guard showed up to solve their problem.

I’ve been that child at times in relation to my earthly parents and to my Heavenly Father, so over wrought, and so overcharged that I am emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually incapable of receiving assistance.

Esther’s humble and faith-filled rendering of the word “help” still hangs in the air over my conscience. Her calm voice was evidence that she had absolutely no doubt about my willingness and ability to help her.

Now, I recognize that earth life is full of some very serious challenges. I do not fault myself or any one else for feeling the pain and the desperate need and the insecurity that comes naturally with the grave trials and struggles we are called to experience as we walk “through the valley of the shadow of death” so to speak. Crying out to the Lord for help certainly has its place.

On the other hand, I find myself facing countless frustrations, problems, and struggles every day that vary in degree of seriousness. Today I want to keep in mind that the Lord is willing and capable of helping me with anything, and I mean ANYTHING large or small. I want to remember Esther’s blue eyes looking with complete trust into mine. I want to remember how she simply and quietly spoke the word “Help” knowing I was not across the universe or even across the room. I was right there by her. I was holding her. And so it is with God. He hears me and He responds.

Sometimes a simple, trusting “Help” is many times more effective than the cry for “Help” followed by hundreds of exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………………….

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, May 8, 2010.

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Phone Mail Treasure, More Than Please and Thank You – Prayer

My mother recorded a prayer I said independent of her prompting when I was two and a half. These were my words, “We thank Thee for this nice family night and for the gospel and for the Holy Spirit with us and for the good in our hearts, the smiles in our hearts, and that I’ll get better, and for my friends. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

One of the earliest things we are introduced to is prayer. We first learn by listening to the prayers offered over the food, family prayer, and the prayers offered each week at church. We also learn about prayer by practicing as our mothers, fathers and teachers whisper prayerful words in our ear, which we repeat as best we can.

It’s important to grow in our ability to communicate with God. By the time I was a teenager I think I had actually digressed. Prayer became something I did because I was supposed to and not because I was really trying to communicate openly and honestly with my Father. My prayers became same-ish, the kind of prayer referred to as a “parrot prayer” in old Family Home Evening Lessons. I was bored and I was sure Heavenly Father was bored. In addition I had not been successful at being “perfect” so I was sure I was not only dull but I was also a disappointment to Him.

My little sister and I shared a double bed until I went to college. I remember some nights lying there in the darkness saying to her with great older sister authority, “Did you say your prayers?” “Oh no,” she would innocently admit. “I forgot.” Then she would kneel up in bed and pray while I stared face up toward the ceiling barrier between God and me, having no intention of “saying my prays”.

In order to survive adulthood of necessity I’ve had to take a good strong look at my prayer life. In the early days of recovery from compulsive addictive behavior I remember having a prayer with a sponsor or support person, a convert to the Church. At the close of my prayer she said, “Oh, you pray like all the rest, like you’re not really talking to someone.” She proceeded to teach me that in order to really connect with the Lord she had to be free to go outside the “thank you” and “please bless” box and express herself openly, honestly, and with great candor to the Lord. Today as I pray I practice believing that He loves me, that it gives Him great joy to hear from me, that He knows me, that He wants to help me, and that He has power to assist me with anything that’s disturbing me, big or small. I try to pray without perfectionism knowing that He is perfect and I am not. And it’s embarrassing to admit, but even today it’s easy for me to slip back into my same old thoughtless prayer patterns.

I’m still learning to pray, and once again the Lord has used the voice of children to instruct me. Over the past few months I’ve received many calls from my grandchildren. Sometimes I’m not at home to receive the calls so they have learned to leave me a phone message. I love these little communications so much that it’s hard for me to erase them. Recently I’ve been saving them so I can listen more than once to their little bits of communication. There are actually getting to be so many of them I’m in danger of running out of space on my answering machine and it won’t be many more day before I have to go through and push the delete button.

One day while I was listening to a new message from one of ‘the grands” I felt instructed by the Lord. “Nannette” the thought came, “Communication with me can and should be more than ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Just as you value all of the varying phone messages your grandchildren choose to leave for you I treasure the great variety of things you might want to communicate to me.”

I immediately pushed the play button on the answering machine and began to listen. This is what I heard and what I learned:

Sammy Age 5 – “Hello Grandma and Grandpa. This is me, Sammy. Were on the mountain right now, walking down it. Were looking at the sunset. It’s so beautiful! And Grandma Bye Bye.” – The Lord wants us to express the joy we find in the view as we hike up and down the mountains of life.

Gracie age 2 – “Grandma, got “poopies.” Then repeating after her mom, she says, “I went poopies on the potty. Yea Gracie! Bye Bye.”– The Lord wants us to fill Him in on our progress no matter how indelicate the subject matter.

TJ Age 4 and Madeline Age 6 – “Hi Grandma. Happy Birthday yesterday,” TJ says enthusiastically. “Ya… Happy Birthday yesterday,” Madeline concurs. “We’re going to sing you a song” The whole family then chimes in together. “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you etc….” Then came TJ coda: “We love you love you love you. We love you love you thank you.” – The Lord always appreciates it when we celebrate Him.

Carson Age 5 – “Hi! This is Carson. I just wanted to say that I lost my first tooth, so give me a call. Bye.” The Lord wants to hear about all the firsts, all of the milestones in our lives.

Eliza Age 11 – “ Hi Grandma, I’m calling to invite you to a special Activity Day at the church where we’re all inviting our Grandmas. We’re going to have dinner and play a game. Can you come?” – The Lord loves to be invited along wherever we go.

Matthew, Jack and Esther Age 1 – These little one’s leave messages with the aid of their mothers that sound like this one:
“Say, ‘Hello, Hello.’”
“Say, ‘Hi, I love you Grandma.”
“Say, ‘Grandma.’”
“Say, ‘Hello.’”
“Say, ‘I love you.’”
“Say, ‘Miss you.’”
“Say, ‘Bye.’”
“Say, ‘Happy, sleepy, doggy, bird, tree.’”
“Say, ‘Bye Love you.’”
Following each prompt from the mom came the sweet voice of a baby learning to put sounds and meaning together for communication. I love to hear the sound of their voices. I think the Lord loves the sound of our individual voices. I believe He loves to hear from us even when all we can manage to voice is His name.

Carson Age 5 – For Carson’s Birthday I bought him two new big puzzles with themes I thought he would enjoy (Cars and Curious George). I’m not sure what he was expecting, but to his mother’s dismay his response to the gift was less that enthusiastic. Later I received this message on my machine. “Sorry Grandma that I was being such a twit and I did that puzzle and it’s really big but not bigger than me. Thank you. Bye. Give me a call.” – The Lord needs to hear that we recognize it when we’ve been less than appreciative.

Ethan Age 8 – After Church and before the Sunday family dinner I pushed the play button and heard, “Grandma, this is Ethan. We’re going to tithing settlement and choir practice at 4:00 and then my mom will come home and turn the beans on to heat so I don’t know what time we’ll be there. We might be there at 5:30 and not 5:00…just so if there’s a problem call my dad’s cell phone.” – The Lord loves to hear what we have planned.

Carson Age 5 – “Hi Grandma. This is Carson. I just wanted to read you a story and its really funny…so bye…give me a call.” – The Lord has a sense of humor. He likes to have us share things in life that bring a smile and a chuckle, the things that bring us joy.

My mother tells another story about my early prayer life. I was not quite three years old. She was kneeling next to me listening as I prayed before jumping into bed. We had just moved into a very small house my parents affectionately referred to as “the Chalet.” Apparently we were not quite settled in. Perhaps I had heard my parents discussing the “how to’s” of moving their family of four, with a third baby on the way, into such small quarters. In the middle of the prayer mother says I started sharing with Heavenly Father in great detail exactly how we were going to arrange various pieces of furniture and household items in the tiny space so that everything would fit.

As I went on and on my mother, who had her eyes closed, says that the way I was speaking to Heavenly Father was so real, so authentic, that she knew if she opened up her eyes she would see Him standing in the room, taking in with great interest all that I was sharing. She remembers that at the conclusion of the prayer I said with great expectation, “Good idea Heavenly Father?” There was apparently no doubt in my mind that He was there and that He was interested in the details of my little girl life.

Tonight when I kneel to pray I want to be as real with my Heavenly Father as I was back then. I think I’ll imagine that my communications to Him are so precious that they are filling up all the endless space in His phone mail and He just can stand the idea of pushing the delete button and never will.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, March 7, 2010.

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Pray As If…” Step 3 Trust In God

There’s old saying goes something like this: “Pray as if everything depends on God and then get up and go to work as if everything depends on you.” The point of this adage is to remind us that we shouldn’t pray and then simply sit around and wait until God takes action. I get the point, and I don’t want to offend anyone who has used this thought in a motivational talk, but I have a problem with this advise.

My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!

King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.

I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Good Job Grandma!” – Step 12 Service by Example

I’ve spent a lifetime teaching children about doing good and then keeping a careful watch over them. I’ve taught children all about prayer, who we pray to, the reasons we pray, and the parts of prayer, how to open a prayer, and in whose name we pray. I’ve listened to their prayers and whispered ideas into their ears to help them with content when they get stuck. That’s all well and good and very important, but I think we do our most effective teaching when we set the example with our own good work, in the open, in front of our kids.

Not long ago Sammy was visiting for the morning. I was tending and at the same time I was trying to sneak in the things that help me start my day off on the right foot. Sammy wandered into my office just as I was kneeling down to pray.

“Sammy, Grandma needs to say her prayers. Do you want to have a prayer with Grandma?”

“No, I just want to listen to your prayers.”

“OK,” I said. Sammy sat in the chair and listened as I prayed about my need to have heavenly help throughout the day and expressed my gratitude to Heavenly Father for my blessings, making a special point of thanking Him for her.

I closed my prayer with the customary “Amen” and before I could get to my feet Sammy patted me on the shoulder with her little hand and congratulated me for a job well done.
I will never forget the words that came with the gentle pat on my back. Night after night times five kids I have said them myself, but it had been many years since my mother praised my effort to pray. Sammy simply said, “Good job Grandma!”

It was a teaching moment that came about not because of a big plan, but because I was trying to carrying out the Lord’s plan in my own life with a little learner near by.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, June 22, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

"Who’s Character Is In Question?" – Step 7 – Humility

Recently, while I was on my knees speaking to my Heavenly Father I was struck with a thought that made me pause. It seemed to be a call to rethink the kinds of things I say to the God of the Universe. What came to me was that often in my prayers I pray for Heavenly Father, the perfect Father of my spirit, to be kind, to be patient, to be aware of me, to be cognizant of my children, to care for the earth, and to be mindful of our country and our economic situation. “It sounds, Nannette, like you are praying for God to develop His character in your behalf.” Heavenly Father’s character, His nature is already divine. It’s my nature that must change. My prayer time would be better spent “humbly asking Him to remove my character weaknesses (see Step 7) so can more fully enjoy His divine nature. Paul advised us to “…be a partaker of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4). I can be assured that His patience and long suffering and loving kindness are well in tact. It’s my character that needs an overhaul, not His.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, April 6, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“______ ! The Herald Angels Sing” – Step 11 – Personal Revelation

Ethan, at age five, had his own version of the traditional Christmas Carol, “Hark, The Herald Angles Sing.” I find his rendition instructive any time of year. As he could not relate in any way to the word “Hark,” he filled in with a word that rhymed and also made perfect sense to him. Ethan simply exchanged the word “Hark” for the word “Park,” For Ethan, the Christmas Carol instructions, delivered in the opening line of the song were as follows, “Park, The Herald Angels Sing!”

My thought after catching his word substitution was, “Ethan, that’s brilliant! I can’t possibly “HARK” unless I slow down and quiet down and ‘PARK!’” The word “hark” is to akin the word we are familiar with in scripture, “hearken.” It means to “listen with careful responsive attention” (Merriam Webster Dictionary)

Some days I am so busy and distracted I don’t stop long enough to connect with the quiet, simple, daily manifestations of angelic assistance. If my heart is not full of “Glory to the new born King” maybe I need to stop a while, to PARK on my knees, or with my scriptures, or my journal, in an easy chair with sweet music playing in the background and prepare to give attention to and receive the tender help of His holy angels who are round about me and sent to bear me up. (D&C 84:88) “Park! The Herald Angels Still Sing.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Jesus Answered My Prayers For the Very First Time!” – Let’s Get Specific!

It was almost two years ago that I was in the delivery room with my daughter and her husband. A beautiful baby girl was delivered. To make a long story very short this was a very different of experience for our family. We had never had a baby born with any kind of physical problems. Minutes after her birth we were informed that she had “spineabifita.” After a brief examination in the Newborn ICU it was determined that she should be immediately transported to a Children’s Hospital for surgery. The next hour was one I will never forget. My heart ached for my daughter as they took Gracie from her arms. All I could think to say to her was that the Lord was very aware of everything that was happening. This reminder seemed calming to her. They instructed her husband to immediately prepare to follow the ambulance to the Children’s Hospital. Gracie was made secure and warm in a mobile bed that would roll right into the ambulance. We gathered in a state of disbelief and watched as the medical staff efficiently prepared our new little arrival for safekeeping and delivery into a doctor’s skillful hands.

My work for the next several days was to be the grandma to Gracie’s three siblings. The plan had been to be at home together, welcoming into the family a Pre-Christmas baby. Reality was living at grandmas, not being able to even see their tiny new sister, and both parents away for an undetermined length of time. Before and during Gracie’s surgery lots of prayers were said by the children. “Please bless Gracie in her surgery. Please bless the doctors to do a good job. Please bless Gracie to be OK.”

After the doctors completed the surgery my son-in-law called to give us the good news. The surgery had been a great success. I passed the phone around to each of the children so they could get the update from their dad. I will never forget the moment Ethan (age 5) galloped through the kitchen, expressing his gratitude and giving credit where credit was due. In loud and joyful exuberance he yelled, “Jesus answered my prayers for the very first time!”

I recorded that moment in my journal and then did some contemplating. My daughter and her husband are raising a praying family. Family prayer and individual prayer are an important part of their daily life. Why would Ethan say that this was his first answered prayer? I’m sure all his past prayers had been answered.

I learned something from Ethan that day about prayer. It was not a lesson about our prayers swaying the Lord this way or that. The good result was beside the point in the Lord’s personal message to me. What came to my mind was, “Nannette, this is the first time Ethan has ever been very specific with the Lord, in prayer, about something very real, something that matters a great deal to him. It is also his first experience praying with real intensity. That’s what makes this time so different for him.”

I determined from that point to pray with greater intent, with real purpose, and to be more specific with the Lord, full of details about the nature of my present struggle and more honest about my feelings. This must be an important aspect of my relationship with God. It made all the difference to Ethan. He taught me a lesson about how to pray so that I know I am communicating with God, and that He really is answering my prayers for the first, or hundredth, or millionth time.

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Ya Mean I Can Ask?!?!?!” – Step 7

Late one Sunday afternoon, in the middle of the family dinner, my daughter, who is only generally familiar with the principles of recovery, sat in my office feeding her new baby. She was tired. It had been a challenging day. Her mind was racing with thoughts of the frustrating Sunday morning she’d had with her four-year-old. With the need for greater patience weighing on her mind, she looked up at the 12 steps I have posted on my office. Her eyes rested on Step 7 and she read, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.”

“Ya mean I can ask?” she said out loud.

She came out of the room and related her experience to me. We talked about what good news it is to know that there is no struggle in our lives thatdoesn’t merit the Lord’s attention and power. We can ask for help with our shortcomings. If we are willing, in time, our transformation will be made possible through our Savior. What a blessed thing to come to know!

I often remember this little incident when I’m off track, trying hard on my own.

“Ya mean I can ask?” “So what am I waiting for?”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.