The Chocolate Chip Cookie Minus the Chips

Disclaimer: If the struggle that brings you to this Blog is compulsive eating, as mine is, please know that the cookie in the starring role is symbolic and is in no way meant to be a trigger. Please do not use this as an excuse to start baking. If you think this will be a problem read no further.

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Minus the Chips

There’s an old classic movie starring the late President of the USA, Ronald Reagan, called “Bedtime for Bonzo.” Bonzo is an unruly, very bright chimpanzee living with a scientist and a foster mother. Their objective is to use modern child rearing techniques in raising Bonzo and prove that nurture is more powerful than nature.

When I was in the middle of motherhood I used the title of the movie to add a little levity to that time of day when kids seem to wind up and moms want to wind down. At dusk I’d scoop my own little chimp (of the pre-school variety) into my arms and say with authority, “It’s bedtime for Bonzo!” Those were words that conveyed to the child that the awake part of their day was very close to being over and that the bedtime routine was about to begin – the toothbrush, the potty, a little Dr. Seuss, a bit of scripture, a prayer, and the final seal on the deal, a small drink of water.

I have presently worked myself out of a job and my children have worked themselves into one. Enforcing “Bedtime for Bonzo” is no longer my work, but sometimes I get a play by play report from one of my children. The following is a bedtime account with a message.

“Gracie, it’s time to come in!” calls my daughter out the back door.

Gracie walks through the French door with a smile on her face.

“Time to go upstairs and get ready for bed,” says Mommy.

“Can I have a goodnight snack?” counters Gracie hopefully.

“Sure, do you want a cookie?”

Then Gracie gets a bit particular. “I want a chocolate chip cookie,” she says with a “that’s the only thing I’ll accept,” look in her eyes.

“Well, that’s good cuz that’s what we’ve got,” responds Mommy as she reaches her hand into the Ziploc bag, picks up a cookie, and hands it to Gracie.

With the cookie in hand Gracie takes one glance and says with redheaded, three year old intensity, “I want a chocolate chip cookie!!!”

Gracie’s mommy reports, “Just as I was trying to turn the cookie over and show her that 10-15 chocolate chips had settled and were visible from the bottom, she broke the cookie in half and in dramatic frustration threw it across the room crying, “It doesn’t have any chocolate chips!

With that my daughter scooped up her little Bonzo and headed toward bed.

Gracie’s mom and I had a good laugh as she rehearsed this incident. Making chocolate chip cookies is not rocket science and neither is the message in this story. All I have to do is cast the Lord in the parent role and myself as the demanding three year old. I know there have been many times when the Lord has delivered to me just what I requested. But I have to wonder how many times I’ve seen His perfect gift as a chocolate chip cookie minus the chocolate chips and with impatience and suspicion hastily discarded it with an angry flare and the unspoken thought, “I knew He wouldn’t give me what I wanted!”

I’ll never know how many divine gifts I’ve recklessly rejected. Like Gracie, I imagine the Lord picks my belligerent self up in his arms and takes me to my room for a little time out with a “Sorry, no snack for you tonight!”

The Lord knows our tendency to doubt His goodness. He tries to reassure us with these words:

“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:9-13)

In recovery we come to know that we have a Savior who can be trusted. His joy is to bless us with exactly the thing we need most. Today I practice trusting that what the Lord sends my way this very hour is for the best, my best. He wants me to take a good hard look at the thing in question until I find the good part, the part that might not be visible at first glance, the part that lies beneath the surface and sometimes well beneath. I’m not perfect at living continually in this frame of mind, but I am making progress. The times when I throw the cookie across the room are getting to be fewer and farther between.

James testified that, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning”(James 1:17).

It’s a powerful, joyful, “Christmas every-day” thing to live in anticipation of the Lord’s generosity. So my friends, turn that cookie over. Pray for eyes to see. Look at it from every angle. The Lord doesn’t want you to miss out on single chocolate chip!

By Nannette W. Posted Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

PS This post is a bit of a landmark for me. It’s my 200th post. I want to thank you all for reading and for your kind comments. They fuel the fire that keeps me writing. Some of you I may never have the opportunity to meet. Please know that my prayers are with all of you. I know that the Lord is aware of each of you individually. I know that He loves you and will bless you in whatever challenges you face. My prayer is that the gospel principles that each of these thoughts represent will impact your lives for good.

Gratitude In the Laundry Room

In February our son Andrew returned home from a mission to Uruguay. The afternoon and evening of his first day home were filled with family and food and old friends. Not much attention was paid to his luggage or its contents until the next morning. “Mom, I need you to help me with some wash,” he said, standing in the living room with an arm full of what might have once been called a batch of “whites.”

Down the stairs we headed, into the laundry room. After receiving an email from him every week for two years I suddenly had new appreciation for his experience as he let me in a little fact I had not known. “Ya, I’ve been washing my clothes by hand for two years.” I lifted up the lid and he put in a large batch of “grays.” I reintroduced him to the mechanics of this machine that I take for granted at least twice a day. In his best Spanish drenched English, his next words spoke volumes on the dedication and humility of a full time representative of Jesus Christ. With a little wonder in his voice he simply said, “Hey, these cleaning machines are really nice!”

I’ve been doing laundry in the same room for 34 years now. “Inspired” is not the word I would use to describe my daily experience with the family wash. However, that morning as I closed the door and climbed the stairs, hearing Andrew’s dingy whites sloshing in the background, I felt a keen desire to be more willing to make sacrifices in order to do the Lord’s work and to never take “cleaning machines” and such for granted.

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, July 9, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“To Be Opened and Used Immediately!”

My mother-in-law was very generous with other people but frugal to a fault with herself. She was a serious minded young adult during the Great Depression. Thus she brought into her future, the modern age of materialism and waste, and into family view, a curious attitude toward gifts. Finding the right gift for her at Christmas, Mothers Day, and on her Birthday, was forever troublesome to me. I would worry worry worry over the perfect gift, find great delight in finally purchasing it, and then watch as she opened it, for any sign of joy and excitement.

Her reaction to my gifts was as predictable as the sunset. No matter what I’d purchased for her it was either the wrong kind of something, or something she didn’t feel she really needed, or, and this was the hardest of all, it was something too nice to use now. Most gifts were either returned or put on a shelf or under plastic, to be saved for a special occasion. One year for Christmas I searched and searched until I found a robe I thought she would enjoy. On a hanger, under plastic, and into the back of the closet it went. She said she would save it for a future hospital stay. And bless her heart, when she died it was still in the back of the closet.

In recent years I’ve become aware that I am not so different from my mother in law when it comes to accepting and using certain gifts. As crazy as it might seem, the gifts I seem to be most resistant to and suspicious of are the gifts sent from God. Instead of continually receiving them and putting them to good use today, I’m tempted with the thought that they’re just not quite right, not what I wanted or need at this time, or that they are so special perhaps I should store them away for another day.

I found a scripture that in the Doctrine and Covenants that helped me to see that one of the things Jesus was perfect at was receiving gifts (grace) from His Father. Being a perfect gift (grace) receiver was a very important part of fulfilling His mission.

Jesus did not return or reject even one of the gifts (grace) sent from Above. In Doctrine and Covenants 93:12-14 it says that Jesus accepted every gift sent by His Heavenly Father. “And I, John saw that He received not of the fullness at first, but received grace for grace.”

Next John tells us that the way he progressed toward all His Father would have Him receive (a fullness) was to act upon or use the gifts of God to fulfill His mission. “And He received not of the fullness at first but continued from grace to grace, until he received a fullness.” To “continue” is to “endure, to last, to persist.” Jesus was able to endured as He received and put to use gift after gift from His Father.

Jesus himself was the greatest example of receiving grace from His Father. We become more and more like Jesus Christ as we more consistently receive (accept) grace for grace and then continue from grace to grace (endure by acting upon the gifts received).

Recovery, healing, and progress are made possible in proportion to my willingness to receive and use the gifts the Lord chooses to send me today. The Lord doesn’t send “white elephants” and the Lord doesn’t send gifts that are so fragile or seasonal or special that they must sit in storage. He sends me the perfect gift. He sends me what is expedient, what I really need, when I need it. And written on all His packages, all His gracious gifts, are the words, “To Be Opened and Used Immediately!”

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Re-Wrapping – Living In Gratitude

A friend of mine attended a Pre-Christmas, family party the other night where gifts were exchanged. Each person had the fun of unwrapping one gift from Santa. Her three-year-old little girl, Katie, along with all the little girl cousins received a Barbie Doll. At the close of the event Katie attentively carried the early present to the car and into the house, obviously pleased with her Christmas surprise. The next day my friend sat wrapping gifts in preparation for the big day ahead. As she wrapped Katie brought her the Barbie she’d received the night before and wanted it re-wrapped. After wrapping it again Katie placed it under the family tree. Throughout the wrapping time Katie disappeared time after time. Back and forth she went from the place in the house where her toys were kept, to the place where her mom was wrapping. Each time she brought with her something she had been given in the past to be re-wrapped and placed under the tree.

Being only three, I’m sure Katie was simply taken with the whole wrapping/unwrapping process and excitement, but for Katie’s mommy this little exercise was the inspiration for a very poignant thought about herself and the gifts she has received from God. She shared with me that she wished she could take all the gifts she had ever received from the Lord and wrap them up and place them under the tree.

While it’s true that part of the Christmas Spirit is being grateful for everything we unwrap on Christmas day, Katie had it right! In her own childlike way, she demonstrated her appreciation for all she has ever received in the past.

What a wonderful picture. When I live “in gratitude” it’s like taking notice of God’s daily gifts, re-wrapping them and placing them one at a time under the Christmas tree. Every gift I receive is in direct connection with the birth and life and death of Jesus Christ. It all belongs under the Christmas tree – really. Like the three-year-old who found such delight in re-wrapping and revisiting her gifts we can re-wrap and open again and again with equal delight and to our hearts desire!

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 26, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“I Love You Jesus,” said little Nan…

Years ago, in a General Conference talk, President Monson shared the poem, “Which Loved Best?” It was timely for me, in the middle of raising my family. In those days I collected classic poems and helped my children memorize them as part of their home school curriculum. I remember listening to Elder Monson recite this poem, taking particular note of the message, and determining that it would be next up on the “poetry to teach” list.

Which Loved Best?

“I love you, mother,” said little John;
Then, forgetting his work, his cap went on,
And he was off to the garden swing,
Leaving his mother the wood to bring.

“I love you, mother,” said rosy Nell;
“I love you better than tongue can tell”;
Then she teased and pouted full half the day,
Till her mother rejoiced when she went to play.

“I love you, mother,” said little Fan;
“Today I’ll help you all I can.
How glad I am that school doesn’t keep!”
So she rocked the baby till it fell asleep.

Then, stepping softly, she took the broom,
And swept the floor, and dusted the room;
Busy and happy all day was she,
Helpful and cheerful as child could be.

“I love you, mother,” again they said—
Three little children going to bed;
How do you think that mother guessed
Which of them really loved her best?”
(Joy Allison, Highdays and Holidays, 133)

If you have children or if you’ve ever been a child I’m sure you can imagine my motivation in teaching this poem to my five, at home all day, mostly obedient, nearly constant companions. The big manipulation, I mean the big message, in my mind was, “Kids, if you really love me then be kind, be helpful, and be obedient all day long! If you really love me, show me!!!”

I’m not sure the poem proved to be successful manipulation or proper motivation. Later I ran across and studied a verse of scripture that helped me understand why. In D&C 42:29 the Lord said, “If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me and keep all of my commandments.”

I decided to look up the little word “shalt.” According the dictionary the word “shalt” is “used to express what seems inevitable or likely.” The verse might read, “If you love me [it is very likely or inevitable that you will] keep my commandments.” This thought came to my mind: “Nannette, God is not manipulating us here like a whiney mother saying: ‘If you really love me you would do the dishes; you would get up for church, etc.’ No! God is expressing the truth that the natural result of love for Him is obedience.”

Out of lack of patience and understanding am I guilty of putting the cart before the horse? Have I not understood the relationship between love and obedience in my relationship to my children or to the Lord? In both cases I have often focused on the look of love instead of the real thing.

Could it be that serving God and keeping His commandments will flow naturally out of my love for Him? Keeping or not keeping commandments is in fact an outward sign of my feelings for Him. So often I put all my focus and energy toward working on a particular commandment that is difficult for me. Maybe I would make more progress in obedience if I worked on my feelings for the Lord.

The next question is, “What can I do to help my love for God grow?” 1 John 4:19 says, “We love Him, because he first loved us,” John is saying that we love Jesus to the extent that we recognize His love for us. Conscious contact with His love for us yields love for Him, and love for Him yields obedience.

Lesson Learned: As I watch and pray to see the hand of the Lord in my life (evidence of His love for me) I receive the blessing of knowing that God loves me. I in turn feel love for God. The natural result of my love for God is my desire to serve Him and keep His commandments. My motivation becomes more pure. My actions become the expression of authentic love. “I Love You Jesus,” said little Nan…

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Gratitude, It’s Still All About Me

On a particularity busy day, full of housework and homework I sat (finally) and began contemplating the subject of my children’s gratitude (or the lack of it). It suddenly dawned on me that I didn’t long for my children’s “Thanks so much Mom! You’re the best!” What I really desired was that they be thankful children; that they develop the ability to see my love for them, my patience with them, my sacrifice for them, not to fill some void within me, but for their own growth.

Seeing this truth in regard to my children and me has helped me apply it to my relationship with God.

I used to see the commandment to give thanks in all things as just one more requirement, something God needed me to do for Him. God does not need my thanks to fill His cup. He loves me and wants me to be a thankful child, not for Him, but for me.

The command to be grateful is an invitation to be aware – to be awake and alive to God’s gifts, to His precious grace. No, gratitude is not just one more item to add to our list of “do’s.” It is a way of validating the living presence of God in our lives. The command to be grateful is all about my progress, not about God’s need for validation.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Coming Down The Mountain – Part 2

At first the trail was pleasant enough, but the air continued to be quite chilly, even after the dawn began. We had every hope of the sun coming up and warming us. The view became more and more breathtaking, but I had to balance looking at it with looking at where I was placing my feet on the narrow trail. I came to rely on Melanie–a much more experienced hiker–to tell me when to look up and see the beauty.

“You know you have to do that in life, too, Nan”, came another whispered insight. “Your tendency in all areas of your life is to keep your eyes glued to the path. It would be good if you would allow yourself to travel through life with the Holy Spirit guiding you–just like Melanie is today. If you’ll trust Him , He will also say, “Hey, Nan, look at the view from here! It is so beautiful!”

To Be Continued.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.
This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.