Spinning Goals into Gifts, Heavens Great Transformation

Today I would like to share that much of what I desire in this life is surprisingly coming to me as a gift from God rather than a goal for God.

In the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” page 8 one of the founders, Bill W. shares, “I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness in a way that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.”

Happiness, peace, and usefulness, in great abundance, are certainly what I have always wanted and thought I was working toward. The paradoxical thing about my life today is that happiness, peace, and usefulness are no longer the focus of my desires, but they have become the byproduct applying each of the gospel centered 12 Steps and using all the tools the Lord has given me to live in daily, hourly, moment by moment connection with Him. The other day, I simply had to pause in the middle of an activity and acknowledge the peace I was feeling. I hadn’t been “working” on peace. I hadn’t set a new goal to be more at peace, but there I was feeling it. It was given to me. It was a very tangible thing like being cold or hot or tired or rested or full or hungry. I was in peace, a fact I never could have manufactured. I do desire even greater happiness, peace, and usefulness. Who doesn’t! However today I know that this cannot be my focus. In fact when I make these things my aim I begin to feel crazy inside. My experience is this – First I must come unto Christ in all the ways I know how and seek to know what He wants me to do next, then I must seek His power to do what I think He wants me to do, and finally I must take action believing that He is helping me. I am nowhere near perfect or even proficient at living this way, but when I do the happiness, peace and usefulness I obsessed over for so many years come – as gifts received from God rather than goals achieved for God.

By Nannette W.

Posted Friday, August 12, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

The Only Real Gift in the Room – Steps 6 and 7

A good friend of mine invited me to a party over the holidays. It was a gift exchange. Each woman invited was asked to purchase an ornament and bring it to the party wrapped. Having had no experience with this kind of an activity I asked the hostess, “What kind of an ornament?”

“Oh, you know, one you think everyone in the room will want when they see it! And of course, it’s all about the packaging.” Those were my only instructions. A few days later I found myself browsing in a Christmas shop when suddenly it dawned on me, the procrastinating Christmas elf, that this was the perfect moment to find my ornament.

I walked around the shop for a long time. There were hundreds of ornaments, every kind imaginable. I started collecting my favorites as I walked about. I soon had them hanging in all ten fingers, unable to make any kind of a choice. “I need some help,” I thought. I called my daughter and started describing the type of party I had been invited to and the ornament choices swinging from each of my fingers, with hopes that she could help me. It didn’t take me long to see that this was not going to help at all. I’m sure she thought I was crazy, calling her about such a little decision and no way for her to actually tell what I was looking at!

Finally I walked up to the check out desk. Maybe these people have some kind of experience with other indecisive women coming in on this kind of errand. Happily they knew just what I was talking about and even which ornament had been most widely chosen for such an occasion. I finally made my purchase!

The hostess, my friend, had created a beautiful, very inviting atmosphere. Her home was luscious with Christmas everywhere. Each woman placed her unmarked wrapped package under the tree. We snacked and chatted until the time for opening arrived. We each picked a number out of a hat and then the games began. Woman number one went to the tree, choose a gift, and unwrapped it. There were lots of oohs and aahs. Then woman number two had the opportunity to either take a gift from under the tree or from woman number one. Which would it be – the known and the unknown? We proceeded like that until every woman had a gift and had had the opportunity to steal a gift from a friend (or someone who use to be her friend). It was a lot of fun! Christmas was wonderful.

It’s January now. I stayed up very late Saturday night getting my after Christmas personal finances back in order and making a budget for January. “Wow, I’m glad to have made it through one more year,” I thought as I closed the books. “The gift giving frenzy of Christmas is all over, or is it?” a little jingle bell went off in my mind:

“Nannette, the world gives gifts at Christmas to symbolize the Savior’s gifts to the world, but the Savior’s gifts to the world are not limited just to Christmas. For Him, gift giving is a year round activity.”

My mind wandered back to my first Christmas party of this season, the “Ornament Exchange.” I dedicate the following thought to all of us who are so in need of the blessings of Christmas the through out the year:

“The great gift of Christmas is The Christ and the great gift of The Christ is His power to help us endure the trials of life and make progress toward Him, day after day after day, every day of the year. The Lord wants to give you the best gift in the room, the one that will be fought over, the one that you are willing to fight for. Fight for it today my friend. The Lord wants you to have it! He brought it to the party hoping you would want it more than anything else under the tree. His gift is wrapped in His flesh and in His blood. He spent everything He had for the right to extend it to you. It’s yours for the taking, if you want it. Don’t trade it for something unknown or something that seems more glamorous. Hold it tight. There is nothing worth the trade. It’s the only real gift in the room.”

Have A Merry Christmas Every Day Of The Year!

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, January 11, 2010.

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Potato Peels Are Just The Beginning – Steps 4-10

Who knew a few potato trimmings could cause such trauma in the kitchen! The day of rest turned into the day of the big mess with just a flick of the disposal switch. With chicken gravy on the stove and the taters my daughter had cleaned and seasoned baking in the oven, Sunday dinner looked like it was going to be a great success. I glanced into the sink as I passed by and noticed a few potato trimmings way down in the disposal. “Oh, it doesn’t look like there’s much there. I bet it will go down the drain just fine,” I said to myself as I flipped the disposal switch. I had an immediate second thought about my decision, but it was too late. Within seconds I knew I had created a giant problem. “Why oh why hadn’t I just reached down and pulled those scraps out and put them into the trash?”

My husband walked through the kitchen just as water with hundreds of little tiny potato peelings began welling up on one side of the double sink. The memory of the Sunday I put brown rice down the drain came to my mind. My husband just shook his head. He was silent, but “here we go again” was written all over his face. “Don’t you worry!” I assured him and invited him to leave the kitchen. I grabbed the plunger, ran the water and the disposal and plunged for all I was worth. Nothing! “Maybe if I just let it sit for a while something will break through,” I thought as I worked toward dinner. I could see that I was getting nowhere.

Eventually my husband and my son-in-law got into it. We did all the things people do. We ran more and more water. We ran the disposal again and again and of course, we plunged and plunged. We stopped up the disposal side of the sink to create some resistance and plunged and plunged some more. Nothing!

We used a pail and got all the water out of the sink, disinfected the area around the sink and sat down to Sunday dinner. We took a short break and for thirty minutes and we all pretended there was no problem. I sat and visited and ate and hoped that something miraculous was going on down in those pipes.

I won’t bore you or disgust you with all the details of the next two days. Suffice it to say that today our sink works. No small thing. One husband, one son-in-law, one neighbor, two plumbers and a lot of money later, the water flows freely.

I’ve learned a thing or two about our plumbing. A little disposal worth of potato peals can a very large mess make if those peals are trying to get down a small already mucked up pipe. The plumber says that once a month we should fill the sink with water, turn on the disposal and run water through the line to keep the pipes cleaned out!

This little experience with a plugged up pipe in the house made me think of the brilliance of Steps 4-10. I am like that pipe! Many of us come to apply the 12 Steps because in some aspect of our lives we are stuck. We can’t move forward and it isn’t for lack of trying. We are aware of many of our imperfections. Most of us have done some confessing. We’ve told God we wish we were making greater progress. We’ve said we were sorry and asked for forgiveness on several occasions, and we try not to go to bed angry. But we are still stuck.

When I first read through the 12 Steps I thought to myself, “Well, I kind of like the first three and the last three, but I’m not doing the ones in the middle. The following are the Gospel principles represented by the middle Steps:

Step 4 “Truth”
Step 5 “Confession”
Step 6 “Change of heart”
Step 7 “Humility”
Step 8 “Seeking forgiveness”
Step 9 “Restitution and Reconciliation”
Step 10 “Daily Accountability”

Today I see that not being willing to take those steps thoroughly and dabbling about with repentance is like using a plunger on a plugged up drain that is ultimately going to require a fifty-foot plumbing snake and daily maintenance.

The fellow that unplugged the sink was finally able to get to the root of the problem. Tuesday morning I woke up to a sink where the water could run freely, something I won’t take for granted again.

That’s the purpose of Steps 4-10 too. As I do the work required I discover a kind of water that runs more freely in me too. It’s the “Living Water”, the life changing water the Lord promised to that ancient “Woman at the Well” in John 4:10.

Now I truly don’t mean to offend by comparing our emotional and spiritual inner workings to the plumbing in my house. I know it’s not a very pretty picture, but it’s a picture the Spirit used to get my attention.

As it turns out, the potato peels were not the real culprit. The real problem was a pipe with years and years of build up that had to be cleaned out. It’s the same with our personal cleansing. Eventually, if we want to get unstuck we have to surrender to the process that promises to clean out the years and years of accumulation and free us to move forward.

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

"Who’s Character Is In Question?" – Step 7 – Humility

Recently, while I was on my knees speaking to my Heavenly Father I was struck with a thought that made me pause. It seemed to be a call to rethink the kinds of things I say to the God of the Universe. What came to me was that often in my prayers I pray for Heavenly Father, the perfect Father of my spirit, to be kind, to be patient, to be aware of me, to be cognizant of my children, to care for the earth, and to be mindful of our country and our economic situation. “It sounds, Nannette, like you are praying for God to develop His character in your behalf.” Heavenly Father’s character, His nature is already divine. It’s my nature that must change. My prayer time would be better spent “humbly asking Him to remove my character weaknesses (see Step 7) so can more fully enjoy His divine nature. Paul advised us to “…be a partaker of the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4). I can be assured that His patience and long suffering and loving kindness are well in tact. It’s my character that needs an overhaul, not His.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, April 6, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Fit Us For Heaven” – Step 7

My favorite Christmas Carol is “Away In A Manger.” I smile as I look at the Hymnbook for the name of the one who penned these words. “Anonymous” it says – of course. I love the third verse. It expresses perfectly my Christmas wish, my Christmas prayer:

“Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And fit us for heaven, to live with Thee there.”
(Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 206)

My favorite word is in the last line. It’s the word “fit.” This verse is a prayerful invitation to the Lord to “fit” us for heaven. “To fit” means, “To make ready in advance, to prepare” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). It’s a humble appeal to the Lord to make us ready and to prepare us in every way for Eternal Life.

I am so grateful to understand that I’m not left to myself with the work of becoming “fit” for heaven and the preparation necessary to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ forever. Now that I know this truth for myself I see it taught everywhere, even in this humble little carol. My work is to nourish my desire to be “fitted” by Him so I might live with Him. Then I must draw near to Him in humble need, as represented by the words, “Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay close by me forever, and love me, I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care.” With this prayer I give the Lord permission and make Him free to do all the ”fitting” necessary.

By Nannette W.
Posted, Friday, December 12, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Ya Mean I Can Ask?!?!?!” – Step 7

Late one Sunday afternoon, in the middle of the family dinner, my daughter, who is only generally familiar with the principles of recovery, sat in my office feeding her new baby. She was tired. It had been a challenging day. Her mind was racing with thoughts of the frustrating Sunday morning she’d had with her four-year-old. With the need for greater patience weighing on her mind, she looked up at the 12 steps I have posted on my office. Her eyes rested on Step 7 and she read, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.”

“Ya mean I can ask?” she said out loud.

She came out of the room and related her experience to me. We talked about what good news it is to know that there is no struggle in our lives thatdoesn’t merit the Lord’s attention and power. We can ask for help with our shortcomings. If we are willing, in time, our transformation will be made possible through our Savior. What a blessed thing to come to know!

I often remember this little incident when I’m off track, trying hard on my own.

“Ya mean I can ask?” “So what am I waiting for?”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Ethan, Patience Means Be Quiet!” – Steps 6 and 7

We’ve had the great experience of having three of our adult children, their spouses, and children live with us at separate times. It has been great fun to be a full time grandma and enjoy once again observing the early learning of little ones. One day as I sat outside the entrance to the kitchen I overheard the following interchange.

Two-year-old Ethan was sitting in the high chair squealing for his Cheerios. Grandpa Marv said to Ethan, “Don’t you know what patience is?” Four-year-old Eliza walked intelligently up to the high chair and said, “Ethan, patience means, Be Quiet!”

I had to smile at that! As parents and grandparents we tend to do what we can to teach children what certain qualities of character look like. Patient people are quiet, patient people wait, patient people don’t whine. This is how patient people act. But most of us know that just because we’re quiet, wait, and don’t whine it doesn’t necessarily mean we, in fact, possess the quality of patience.

Many of us come to the 12 Steps out of a desperate need to change our behavior, but one of the fundamental aspects of recovery is a true, heart deep change of character. The foundation of all action is character. Step 6 says, “Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses.” In other words, become ready to have God change you on a level you have not been able to achieve on your own. Step 7 says, “Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings.” Acting patient, kind, grateful, loving etc. is no substitute for being patient, kind, forgiving, loving, and hopeful.

Until I involve God in the formation of my character I will always be an actress who thinks “patience means be quiet,” “gratitude means say thanks you,” and “kindness means share your stuff with other people!” Acting is only good as far as it goes. It might help Grandpa have a more peaceful breakfast in a house full of grandkids, but lasting change of behavior required a real change of character.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 12, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Sea Treasure! Can You See It? – Step 7

A trip to Southern California has to include a trip to the beach. That’s where the eleven of us headed yesterday. We stayed until all of us had gotten wet, dug for crabs, built roads and castles and tunnels in the sand, until the seagulls had eaten Carson’s sandwich and Diana’s mini Oreo’s (all of them), until the babies were caked in sand, until it was time to reapply the sunscreen, until all the big dudes and some of the little ones had tried the rented boogie board and finally, and this is where my thought for the day begins until we had discovered and collected and rinsed and bagged up lots and lots of seashells.

My collection of sea treasure began on a solitary stroll to the pier and back to the family spot on the sand. As the water spilled up and then hurried back out to the sea it left behind hundreds of shells. I collected the good ones and with the next wave, everything I hadn’t deemed collectible disappeared. I wondered how many “go a rounds” these shells had made. Some of them were pretty beat up.

I shared my seashell collection with the “grands.” They became interested in making a collection of their own. So leaving sand castles behind, we went down to where the water meets the land. What I observed for the next thirty minutes was the tremendous difference in the way I collect shells and what the children see as buried treasure revealed. Where I collected a pocket full, they collected several plastic sand buckets full.

“Grandma, look at this one, it’s beautiful!” “Wow”, I say, not wanting to make four, seven and nine year olds feel bad about their collector’s eye. What they were all excited about were pieces of shells, chipped shells, shells with holes in them, certainly not like the perfect specimens in my pocket. They were thrilled over the kinds of shells I had rejected and allowed to wash back out to sea.

I think God is like a little child when it comes to collectibles. He sees the chips and the holes and the broken pieces in us as evidence of experience, not as a disgrace and a reason for rejection. “As adult children” of God, we see, and think we know exactly what he’s looking for. We’re hard on ourselves and we’re hard on others. In our minds, few of us make the cut. But much of what we see in ourselves and others are the scars of submitting ourselves to earth life experience, not indicators of our value. Our appearance is often the indicator of a life long tussle with mortality. Our condition, as we finish the war that started in heaven, makes us more God’s treasurer, not less. And like my grandkids, our Savior hopes to take home every shell on the beach.

By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, September 26, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Morning Glory, Weed or Flower? – Step 7

When I first became the proud owner of a yard, my most familiar enemy was the morning glory. It seemed to spread everywhere, wrapping itself sneakily around the roses and in and out of the evergreens. One day I was perusing my book “Wildflowers of North America” and was surprised to see my weed listed and described as a flower. Flower was certainly not the name I had given my pest.

The question came to my mind, “When does a flower become a weed?” And the answer, “When the environment is so supportive to the particular flower that it grows out of control, entangling, crowding out, and eventually killing all the other flowers.”

Our Heavenly Father has made available to his children the riches of the earth, good things that can enrich our lives and be a blessing to us. Occasionally something that was meant to be a blessing becomes a curse, a flower turned weed. Examples of these mixed blessings might be food, money, love, and medication. Why is this so?

Let’s look at the morning glory for our answer. Morning glory is not inherently bad, and yet given the right living conditions it can totally crowd out other growing things. The flower becomes a weed. Food, money, love, medication and other seemingly good things can become weeds to our souls as they flourish in a particular environment and run rampant, crowding out our relationship with God. How do we stop the infiltration of soul strangling weeds?

Let’s look again to the morning glory. I can never get rid of the morning glory completely once the seeds have been sown. I labor to keep the weeds in check. So it is with food, money, love, drugs etc. To keep these flowers from becoming weeds we try, we labor, we work at self discipline trying to keep these things in check.

The only way to truly rid my yard of morning glory completely is to change the environment so that the seeds no longer lie on ground that promotes growth. I imagine I will be controlling morning glory forever as I have little influence over Utah’s morning glory producing environment. So I keep it in check.

In regard to my soul I strive to keep it’s garden in check also, weeding daily through repentance and forgiveness so that nothing runs out of control on a mission of destruction. But at times even with “weed” in hand, the futility of the task becomes overwhelming. I often despair knowing the living root is buried just under the ground, out of sight, and in such rich soil.

For some known and unknown reasons, the environment, which is me, and has been inherited from God and man, is more conducive to the rampant spread of some things over others. I have and have had little influence on the making of it and seem to have even less ability to change it. I am in fact powerless to do any more than to weed it by repenting of excess. I’m trying not to add things to my environment that encourage weeds.

But there is one Jesus Christ who has purchased the right to transform my nature. It is only through and with Him, because of Him that the soil of my soul can be changed, that my environment of self can be altered. If I allow the Lord to do his work, no longer does the flower of food become the weed of compulsive eating or compulsive starving. No longer does the flower of success become the weed of materialism. No longer does the flower of sorrow become the weed of anger and hatred. No longer does the flower of love become the weed of lust.

It is not because He is out there weeding the garden and keeping excess in check. He is capable as a result of his love and sacrifice for us, and our willingness to be altered, to actually change us so that weeds cannot flourish. The very nature of the ground upon which seeds fall has been transformed.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, September 21, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Not My Feet Only” – Steps 6 and 7

I sat in Gospel Doctrine class one Sunday as we were flying through the New Testament. “So what lesson do we learn from this story?” the teacher asked.

“That we must serve as Jesus served,” came the quick answer from the audience.

That’s true, I thought, but I think there is more…

In John 13, beginning with verse 4, we read that after Jesus and His disciples finished eating their final meal together our Lord prepared Himself, poured water into a basin, and began to wash the disciples feet. He then wiped them dry with a towel He had wrapped around Himself.

As Peter’s turn came, he held himself back. He was not about to submit his filthy feet, which were covered with the streets of the city, to be washed by his Lord. Peter said to Jesus, “Thou shalt never wash my feet.” Washing feet was work of the lowliest servant. It was nothing he would allow His Lord and Master to do for him.

The Lord replied to Peter in this way, “If I wash thee not, thou hast no part with me.” This single sobering statement by the Lord leveled Peter’s pride.

The idea of ending his relationship with the Lord over this thing was unthinkable, and so Peter submitted wholeheartedly by saying, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.”

Even as Peter, we must each come to realize that our desire to cleanse ourselves, as noble as it might seem, does not bring us to God, but instead creates distance between us. If we want “part” with the Lord we must humbly submit to His cleansing.

The lesson Peter learned directly at the hand of the Lord, Himself, has been taught to me during my years of activity in 12 Step Recovery. The struggle in my life, which drew me to this program, was compulsive/addictive overeating. My seemingly futile battle with it had caused me to feel “unclean,” as if I too had dirty feet. The shame it caused me had gone on for years. I supposed that in order for me to feel comfortable before the Lord I would have to conquer this weakness myself (clean my own feet). However, in studying the Gospel principles represented in the 12 steps, I began to realize that I must submit my dirty feet (or unclean behavior) to the Lord, Jesus Christ. As I became willing to do so, then He would purify me.

In order for me to be clean before the Lord, I had to be willing to be made clean by the Lord, not on that far away day of reckoning, but right now, today. I could no longer postpone my coming unto the Lord with the excuse that I was standing in the shadows making myself perfect enough to have part with him. I had to step into the light, His light, where my defects were well lit, and then submit myself unto Him for His divine cleansing.

As I continue to witness His power to overcome compulsive/addictive eating and the love He has for this work of saving me, even from myself, I find myself more and more willing, even as Peter, to submit all. I am beginning to desire to honestly lay everything before Him- my guilt, my angers, my fears, my worries. With Peter, I too would cry, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday 3, 2008

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved.
Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.