“Happy Are We” – Step 3 Trust in God

We live in a time when toys have buttons that awaken magical electronic powers.  As we search the retail shelves for just the right toy, even grownups are taken in by the invitation on packaging that reads, “Try Me.”  One day, just after Christmas, I was waiting while my mother stood in the return line at Kohls and there before my eyes, in the middle of an aisle, was a large display of piggy banks with a “Try Me” invitation on every box.  So I did!   Standing there, looking at them, something came over me and I pushed every piggy’s button in the display.  Then I just stood there, unashamed, in the middle of the isle, with children looking on in dismay, laughing at the cacophony of oinking that erupted.  Something crazy gets into me those first few days after Christmas.

One of my “grands” is a life-size 17 month old dolly.  She’s a tiny little thing.  It’s still surprising to look down at the white feathers starting to grow on her baby head and see her walking about.  She’s learning to talk and has recently started stringing words together.

Hattie doesn’t have a magical button.  This little dolly is more technologically advanced than the dollies on the shelf at Wal-Mart. She’s actually voice activated. If I sing a few words to a song she has heard several times she responds.  For example:   If I sing “Twinkle Twinkle” she sings, “little star.”  This is not really too surprising in the world of raising babies.   What is unusual is that she quickly catches on to difficult songs. We were all a bit flabbergasted the other day when her daddy sang, “We are all enlisted ‘til the conflict it o’er,” and immediately, without hesitation, she looked up at him with those heavenly blue eyes and sang out, “Happy are we, are we, are we!”

Her older cousins love to hear her perform, and she is happy to comply—“Happy are we! Happy are we!” she responds to their prompt, and the air erupts with laughter. (The cousins are as bad as me at Kohls with the piggies.)  I’ve heard the opening words to the song “We Are All Enlisted” countless times now throughout the house.  Each time I hear her sing I think, “What a great reminder!”  These words tell us that we are in this to the end and we can be happy even though life is hard—It’s full of conflict between nations and neighbors, within our communities and families, and within ourselves as we battle it out with Satan or simply wrangle with the hundreds of tough decisions that have to be made every day.  According to the song we can somehow endure happily.

One day as I heard her performing for someone, in my mind I pointed the following thought in the Lord’s direction—“I get the general message Lord, but how?  How am I to be happy throughout and until the end of all the conflict in my daily life?”  I told Him that I knew that a great part of the answer to that question lies in whether or not I pick up and use the magnificent tools of the Gospel that bring the Spirit of the Lord into every situation.   I know that when I have the Spirit with me I do find greater happiness, even in difficult situations, but was there more to be learned here?

Once again I allowed the words to run through my mind, only this time I felt the Spirit invite me to focus on the words we sing to Hattie—“We are all ENLISTED.”  In my mind’s eyes the word ENLISTED was in capital letters.  Was that my clue?  I searched my understanding for some sense of the word.  I remembered that during the Korean War my dad “enlisted” in the army to escape being drafted, and he had a great experience serving in Germany, and most recently, my youngest son has “enlisted” in the United States Air Force.  This is not exactly what I had in mind for my son. From the moment the doctor announces “It’s a boy,” I dread the thought that one day my sons might be drafted. But come to think of it, except for the two years he served the people in Uruguay on an LDS mission, I’ve never seen him more resolute and yes, happy.

Hmmm… “Drafted?”  “Enlisted?”  I got my dictionary.  To be “drafted” is “to be enrolled in the armed forces by compulsion or conscription.” To “enlist” is “to join up or sign on to the armed forces.”

That’s it!—one of the great keys to being happy!  I enlisted – on purpose! I signed up!  I’m not here having earth life, with its huge range of experiences, because I was forced or ill informed about the hard parts.  I was not drafted.  I chose.

Every day I experience some of the pain that comes from frustration, anger, sickness, sadness and disappointments over situations, some of my own making and those I am completely powerless to control. It’s tempting to imagine I’ve been forced into difficult situations by life, by people, and by God Himself!  If I dwell in self-pity, imagining that I am simply a pawn on the chess board of life, then all I want to do is something, anything, to make me feel better, something to dull the little pains and the big ones. And why would I reach out to God for help if I think He sent me into this mess against my will? Drafted! So I turn to something I can trust, something immediate—eat a little food, spend a little money, watch a little TV, take a little pill…Addiction is about doing something to make myself feel better, knowing that God can’t possibly be the answer.  My addiction is anything I turn to habitually, that’s destructive, instead of turning to God.

Today I know that my pain only multiplies with every thought that I was conscripted into this War that started in Heaven. There is actual pain relief and power to endure connected with the recognition that I enlisted in this earth life experience, that I was not compelled against my will. In Lehi’s vision He says he follows a Man in White to a dark and dreary waste.  On some days life is dark and it is dreary, but there is something really important to my ability to get through hard times in acknowledging that following Jesus Christ into this world was a decision I made.  That thought actually hastens my travels on that strait (difficult) and narrow (single file) path to the fruit that ensures joy in the battle zone.

Step 3 of recovery is to “Decide to turn my will and my life over the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  In essence it is to surrender to an experience in which I chose to participate.  Sometimes during hard seasons I say to myself: “Life just is not going according to my plan.”  Though that may seem true with my limited vision—there is a PLAN and I signed on!

A new recruit has recently been assigned to our family squadron, one of earth life’s newest enlistees.  His tiny feet were not even planted on earth’s soil before life became challenging.  In fact life was a challenge for him the minute he was assigned his body and for his family from the moment the doctors suggested they might be seeing signs of Down Syndrome.

As I hold my nephew in my arms, all hooked up to feeding and breathing apparatus, as I feel the rapid  pulse of his tiny heart that needs mending, I sense that his faith in the truth that he was not compelled, not drafted into this body for his earth-life experience, is very much intact. It’s the rest of us who need to keep this understanding burning in our hearts. Not only did he know what he was getting into, but so did all of us who are blessed to be a part of his life and blessed to participate in all of life.

Thanks for the reminder Hattie.  “We signed on! We chose!  We enlisted!  “Happy are we!”

By Nannette W.

Posted Thursday, February 2, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Christmas Eve Instruction on Finding the Perfect Gift – Perfectionism and Step 1-3

If I wasn’t “finishing up” at Target or All-A-Dollar or Kmart at 5:45 on Christmas Eve, I guess the season wouldn’t be quite the same.  On December 24, 2002 I was given the following insight.  It has made a difference in every Christmas Eve thereafter.

Exhausted and touching on frantic, I completed my Christmas buying that year by going to three stores just as the 24th sun of December was setting, trying to find that perfect, within my budget, healthy (at the request of the children) stuff to stuff in the…(well you know).  First, I flew in and out of some store with the word dollar in the name but obviously not geared for the authentic “I’ve got no money left” shopper!  Then it was on to The Dollar Store with a big finish at Kmart.

I miraculously ended the Christmas shopping within budget, but as I pulled into the garage I had a sinking feeling that what I had purchased was just not right at all.  I entered the kitchen, helloed everyone, turned on the Christmas music and declared that the holiday could now begin.  I noticed my daughters had removed the unfinished chicken, thankfully, from the crock-pot and put it into the ever-faithful oven “in hopes that the dinner soon would be there.”  (Is that a line from a famous Christmas poem?)

As I stood at the sink working toward perfection in the kitchen, I pondered, as I often do while cycling the dishes.  “Just why, Nannette, why is gift giving so completely unsettling to you? Why do you put off the thinking of, looking for, purchasing, wrapping and giving of gifts?  Why are you so “anxietous” (a family word) over every phase of this activity?  I’ll tell you why,” spoke the Messenger to my mind.  “It’s because you always want to give the perfect gift, isn’t it?  You want it to be just the right thing and there is never enough time or money or creativity or understanding to pull it off.  That’s it, isn’t it?”

Then came the instruction.  “Nannette, there is only one perfect gift and it will not matter how early you line up at Shopko the day after Thanksgiving or whether or not you have a wheel barrow full of money with which to fight off the crowds and pay at the register.  You will not be able to buy it.

Your Heavenly Father already conceived of it and His firstborn and only begotten Son already volunteered to be it and it has been offered to every one on your Christmas list!  So let go of the notion of reinventing the magnificent and allow your humble giving of the less than perfect to be a perfect reminder.  Let it bring to your philanthropic heart and near empty hands the testimony that His gift is The Gift that makes up for all lesser offerings.  There is no other gift beside Him.  Allow the contrast to be a symbol of your humble station and His abundant, priceless, perfect present.

By Nannette W.

Posted Wednesday, December 24, 2008

From Nannette’s Christmas Archives Re-posted Saturday, December 24, 2011

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Just One More Seatbelt Please” – Step 3 Trust in God

One of the most heart wrenching earth-life realities for me is that “Families Can be Together Forever,” but not right now, not today.  I’m sure I inherited this problem from my mother, who always morns the missing “one” no matter how many come to the family event.  If she could have, she would have added a new wing to her home for each of her seven children and their families. In fact she lives across the street from me today and says she lives in the “west wing.”

I remember one year my husband and I were planning a family trip.  We had clearly outgrown the family van so the only option was to take two cars.  I was not a happy mother.  What about group singing, and the who can be the first one to find all the ABCs on the  billboards game, and trying to get the truck drivers to honk their horns, and seeing how high we can pile the cheese whiz on the wheat thin, and the joking and laughing, and passing around the map?  What about all that!  We were just one seatbelt shy.  I spent days trying to persuade my husband that we should make an extra seat between the two front seats and have a seatbelt installed.  My kids still razz me about that.  So I like my family.  I like to be with them.  It’s not perfect. We’re not perfect.  We have our moments, but on the whole it’s pretty good.

Today I’m the mother of grownups and these grownups have children of their own, fourteen of them.  And then there are my five brothers and their wives and kids and my sister and her husband and their kids who now have kids and my aunts and uncles and cousins, not to mention all the people I know and love and wish were in my family! It would take more than an extra seatbelt to solve my hankering to have us all moving down life’s highway together.  It would take a miracle.

In the grand scheme of things I’ve been taught that Heavenly Father and Jesus feel a lot like me.  They love their family.  They want us to be together. They have a plan that definitely trumps my extra seatbelt idea. They tell us that it’s actually their work and their glory to make eternal togetherness possible.  Sometimes, with the people in my life coming and going in so many different directions it’s hard to imagine that eternity together is really a possibility.  I always find it amazing how well the Lord knows my fears, and recently I had two experiences where the Lord renewed my hope for a bright future with my family and my friends.

My sister called and told me that she was being released as an LDS Addiction Recovery Program missionary and as one of my companions.  There are other things she needs to be doing in preparation for the future, and the Lord has released her from this assignment.  I understood, but I was very sad.  It has been a wonderful experience being a missionary with my sister.  We were “sister Sisters!”  She has always been very supportive of me, but this was a very unique experience.  There is a difference between support from the sidelines and actual participation. Working in the LDS Addiction Recovery Program together, and at the same time striving to live in recovery together with her full participation in the steps and tools of recovery has blessed my life in ways I can’t express.   As I took my sadness to the Lord this thought was placed in my mind, “Nannette, no change in your life can diminish the blessing you have experienced during this time. Nothing of value is ever lost through changes I bring into your life.” I’m so grateful to know that the Lord takes good care of the good and valuable experiences I’ve shared with others.  All the best parts of earth life are eternal.

My other experience was with my brother.  One day we were comparing our adult lives, back and forth, through e-mail.  Through my brother’s work the Lord has taken him and his family from west coast to east and even across the sea to live and work and serve in the Church. Conversely, I have never moved.  We were commiserating over the fact that we have lived apart for most of our grown-up years. I wrote to him, “Our adult home situations have been so different haven’t they? In fact they couldn’t have been more different.  I have lived on the same block for 39 years.  Sometimes I think about the adventure of moving about the way you have, but I try not to dwell on it too long.  I think my life is just as the Lord wants it and so it yours.  Both ways have their positive and negative points, but that’s not what it’s really all about.  It’s about where the Lord has placed us, where our mission lies. The most important thing we can each do is magnify the Lord right here (wherever “here” is) and right now. Let’s both keep doing “the next right thing,” as we say in addiction recovery, and maybe one day we will live close on this earth.  The thing I do know is that if we live that way on earth, we will live close forever after and that’s the most important thing of all!”

So it’s not about buying a minivan with more seatbelts, or having twin callings, and it’s not even about geography. True lasting Fellowship with those we love is about how we live in relationship to Jesus Christ and His gospel. As we come and go and come and go we can trust Him with our “Together Forever-ness.”

By Nannette W.

Posted Wednesday October 6, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“The Lion and the Lamb” – Step 3 Trust in God

Several weeks ago my aunt called early one morning to request our prayers in behalf of her grandson.  He had been enjoying his missionary preparation day at a local zoo in Guatemala and was in the process of taking a photo of his fellow missionaries from what seemed to be a great vantage point. As he stood on a high wall in front of the lion’s cage two lions reached through the bars and he was brutally attacked.  Doctors have worked round the clock trying to save his life and his arm if possible.

I’ve had two recovery thoughts in connection with this event. My first thought is in regard to my cousin’s first words after the attack.  They were, “Please don’t tell my mother and please don’t send me home.”  Bless his heart, but he couldn’t keep this news from his dear mother and he certainly was powerless to determine where he would be sent. When we absolutely know we are powerless, our trust in God and God’s helpers becomes a necessity. I was reminded that none of us can forever keep our difficult situations a secret from those whose prayers we need, and none of us can predict where the Lord will send us for further healing and growth.

My second thought came shortly after hearing of this young man’s critical condition.  I was attending an LDS Addiction Recovery meeting, and I decided to share about my cousin.  At the conclusion of my sharing I said, “There is no group of people anywhere who understand what it is like to get too close to the lion’s cage than the people in this room.  We have all been there.”  It became very still in the room. The air was thick with love and understanding and compassion.  My friends in recovery know!  They know not only that they have done very risky things too, but that there isn’t a soul on earth who hasn’t placed themselves in grave danger at one time or another.  It’s true that we don’t always get caught. A friend of mine told me that his son also served his mission in Guatemala and had apparently visited the same zoo. After hearing the news of my cousin’s situation his dad asked him if he had stood on that same wall to take a photo and he replied, “I take the fifth.”

I came away from the meeting knowing that the most important thing isn’t to waste precious time and energy judging each other’s close calls with physical or spiritual danger.  The critical thing is to come to know is that there is no lion in our lives or in anyone else’s life more powerful than Heavenly Father’s Lamb.

This week on the ten o’clock news they aired an interview with my cousin.  I was deeply moved as he spoke of his experience and showed his scars. He was not hesitant to allow the public to observe the reality that after more surgeries than anyone should have to endure, he chose to sacrifice his arm.  The Spirit reminded me that in order to make progress toward our full potential we will all be called upon to make courageous sacrifices, to surrender things that are very difficult and even painful to let go of, in order to ultimately receive the greater blessings that Lord has in store for us.  Anyone who has worked through the 12 Steps and the process that brings recovery from addiction or from any of life’s struggles knows the sacrifice required.

As I watched the news that night I looked in his eyes and observed his spirit. I could tell that this is not the end of his life. It’s not the end of his mission.  It is just the beginning.  No matter how difficult the situation, the sacrifices we make in order to choose life, always bring new life!  The Lord promises that, “all things work together for good to then that love God” (Romans 8:28). Our challenge is to take the lord at his word.  He says all things!  If we are willing to follow Him like a lamb there are no exceptions, no matter what the lion in our lives may be!!!

By Nannette W.

Posted Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

 

I Know the Answer to Who! Will Someone Please Tell Me What? Trust in God Step 3

I had a woman call me for support today. She and her family have experienced a life full of abuse. She is trying to work through the 12 Steps of Recovery and she’s stuck on steps two and three and. the principles of developing hope and trust in God. She cannot figure out what it is she is can trust about God. What can she trust Him to do or to be in her life? Because of life’s trials, she feels she cannot trust that he will always keep her or her children safe from harm or accident or trial.

Her questions and frustration caught me off guard.I was in the middle of a personal cleaning and organizing project with my 12 year old granddaughter. I quickly shared with her a thought that came immediately into my mind and hung up feeling like I hadn’t really hit the mark.As I drove Eliza home I asked her how she would have answered this sister’s question.She said, “Well, in the end we can trust that the Lord will save us.”We kept talking as we drove and even after I dropped her off the Spirit kept working with me on the answer.After all, I thought, this is the question of the ages.This is a question every believer has to answer.

The following thoughts came to me:

1.I can trust that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, in the end, everything will work out.My life is more that this life.

2.I can trust that the Lord loves me.He gave His life because He loves me.

3.I can trust that He knows me, my life, my strengths, my weaknesses, everything about my situation.

4.I can trust that Jesus has experienced everything I have experienced. Jesus knows how I feel!!!That’s what the Atonement is all about.

5.I can trust that all things are for my experience and will ultimately be for my good.That’s what He taught Joseph Smith.

6.I can trust that Jesus is more powerful than anything that has or will ever happen to me. If I turn to Him He has all the love and understanding and power necessary to work all things together for my good, even the most horrific things.

7.I can trust that He loves to do this work in my life, that it is His work and His glory to help me.

8.Most of my hardships are either caused by my own poor choices of the unrighteous choices of others. The Lord cannot interfere with agency, mine or anyone else’s.He does not always remove our trials, but I can trust that if I invite Him, He is absolutely willing and desirous to walk through any hardship with me. It doesn’t seem to matter where the blame lies.It doesn’t seem to matter weather my trial is of my own making, my own misuse of the freedom to choose, or the harsh reality of great pain caused by the choices of others.If I ask Him He will be with me.

9.I can trust that if I open my eyes even in the most difficult of situations, and look for signs of God love and understanding and power for me—personally–in my behalf, I will see it.

My hope and trust in the Lord is not perfect. It’s not continuous, but it is growing. I work every day at developing my belief by practicing belief. I practice by first asking the Lord to reveal Himself to me in my day, His love, His understanding, and His power. I study the scriptures and read about people who have placed their hope and trust in the Lord and people who have not, and I learn from their lives. Then I try to keeping my eyes open and watching for His hand in my life. I also take actions based on the belief that God is there, that He loves ME and He IS helping me. Finally I express gratitude for all the precious signs that show me He is aware of me andmy little life in a big way.

I’m growing in my ability to take Him at His word: ” For I am God, and mine arm is not shortened; and I will show miracles, signs, and wonders, unto all those who believe in my name” (D&C 35:8) As I become more conscious of the Lord, as He shows up in my life, I discover that He is always conscious of me ! I see His hand in my life every day. I’ve always known who I should trust.

By Nannette W.

Posted Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Minus the Chips

Disclaimer: If the struggle that brings you to this Blog is compulsive eating, as mine is, please know that the cookie in the starring role is symbolic and is in no way meant to be a trigger. Please do not use this as an excuse to start baking. If you think this will be a problem read no further.

The Chocolate Chip Cookie Minus the Chips

There’s an old classic movie starring the late President of the USA, Ronald Reagan, called “Bedtime for Bonzo.” Bonzo is an unruly, very bright chimpanzee living with a scientist and a foster mother. Their objective is to use modern child rearing techniques in raising Bonzo and prove that nurture is more powerful than nature.

When I was in the middle of motherhood I used the title of the movie to add a little levity to that time of day when kids seem to wind up and moms want to wind down. At dusk I’d scoop my own little chimp (of the pre-school variety) into my arms and say with authority, “It’s bedtime for Bonzo!” Those were words that conveyed to the child that the awake part of their day was very close to being over and that the bedtime routine was about to begin – the toothbrush, the potty, a little Dr. Seuss, a bit of scripture, a prayer, and the final seal on the deal, a small drink of water.

I have presently worked myself out of a job and my children have worked themselves into one. Enforcing “Bedtime for Bonzo” is no longer my work, but sometimes I get a play by play report from one of my children. The following is a bedtime account with a message.

“Gracie, it’s time to come in!” calls my daughter out the back door.

Gracie walks through the French door with a smile on her face.

“Time to go upstairs and get ready for bed,” says Mommy.

“Can I have a goodnight snack?” counters Gracie hopefully.

“Sure, do you want a cookie?”

Then Gracie gets a bit particular. “I want a chocolate chip cookie,” she says with a “that’s the only thing I’ll accept,” look in her eyes.

“Well, that’s good cuz that’s what we’ve got,” responds Mommy as she reaches her hand into the Ziploc bag, picks up a cookie, and hands it to Gracie.

With the cookie in hand Gracie takes one glance and says with redheaded, three year old intensity, “I want a chocolate chip cookie!!!”

Gracie’s mommy reports, “Just as I was trying to turn the cookie over and show her that 10-15 chocolate chips had settled and were visible from the bottom, she broke the cookie in half and in dramatic frustration threw it across the room crying, “It doesn’t have any chocolate chips!

With that my daughter scooped up her little Bonzo and headed toward bed.

Gracie’s mom and I had a good laugh as she rehearsed this incident. Making chocolate chip cookies is not rocket science and neither is the message in this story. All I have to do is cast the Lord in the parent role and myself as the demanding three year old. I know there have been many times when the Lord has delivered to me just what I requested. But I have to wonder how many times I’ve seen His perfect gift as a chocolate chip cookie minus the chocolate chips and with impatience and suspicion hastily discarded it with an angry flare and the unspoken thought, “I knew He wouldn’t give me what I wanted!”

I’ll never know how many divine gifts I’ve recklessly rejected. Like Gracie, I imagine the Lord picks my belligerent self up in his arms and takes me to my room for a little time out with a “Sorry, no snack for you tonight!”

The Lord knows our tendency to doubt His goodness. He tries to reassure us with these words:

“And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:9-13)

In recovery we come to know that we have a Savior who can be trusted. His joy is to bless us with exactly the thing we need most. Today I practice trusting that what the Lord sends my way this very hour is for the best, my best. He wants me to take a good hard look at the thing in question until I find the good part, the part that might not be visible at first glance, the part that lies beneath the surface and sometimes well beneath. I’m not perfect at living continually in this frame of mind, but I am making progress. The times when I throw the cookie across the room are getting to be fewer and farther between.

James testified that, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning”(James 1:17).

It’s a powerful, joyful, “Christmas every-day” thing to live in anticipation of the Lord’s generosity. So my friends, turn that cookie over. Pray for eyes to see. Look at it from every angle. The Lord doesn’t want you to miss out on single chocolate chip!

By Nannette W. Posted Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

PS This post is a bit of a landmark for me. It’s my 200th post. I want to thank you all for reading and for your kind comments. They fuel the fire that keeps me writing. Some of you I may never have the opportunity to meet. Please know that my prayers are with all of you. I know that the Lord is aware of each of you individually. I know that He loves you and will bless you in whatever challenges you face. My prayer is that the gospel principles that each of these thoughts represent will impact your lives for good.

“Is This the Finale?” – Step 3 Trust in God

Sometimes we talk about our need for the Lord to be a little more direct in His communication with us. We joke about hoping to receive a phone call or an email or a visitation or something big indicating His word directly and personally. When I’m in great need I often ask the Lord to please speak loud and clear because I’m not all that perceptive. Well, this past holiday season, the one where we celebrated our independence, the Lord spoke to me with a real bang.

My husband and I had just left the theater after seeing “To Kill a Mockingbird.” The evening was growing late and I was weary, but we had one more stop to make. We drove quietly toward the end of the parade route where our children and grandchildren had spent the evening laughing, visiting, eating treats, waving at city royalty, chasing after candy thrown from passing floats, standing for the Colors, cheering for their alma mater high school band, and waiting for dark and fireworks.

As we drove along in silence to the designated meeting spot, I watched the crowd of people–families with little children—out my window, and a familiar sinking feeling came over me, a feeling I have entertained over and over in the last few years. I knew the feeling was associated somehow with my personal midlife crisis – the growing up and moving on of my five children. In the silence of my own mind I asked, “What is it Lord? What is this feeling? I need to be able to grasp it and deal with it!”

The following words came into my mind along with a feeling of great compassion, “Nannette, you are afraid that the best part of your life is over.”

The words were surprising to me and came with great force and clarity. “That’s it exactly!”

This simple new understanding was enough. The Lord didn’t have to give me any more, but He did.

We parked the car and walked several blocks. We were still looking for familiar faces when the first explosion of red, white, and blue went off and the crowd cheered. I walked along holding Marv’s arm and looking into the sky, not wanting to miss a thing. Eventually we recognized the potpourri of family camped on the side of the parade route – our kids, their kids, my sister’s kids, and their kids, and a few miscellaneous friends. We had forgotten our usual Grandma and Grandpa folding chairs so I spotted a place on the tarp just big enough for two and we joined the group.

The night was beautiful, the temperature perfect. And these were not the far away kind of fireworks. This was the kind of fireworks show that explodes in magnificent bursts right over your head and the glistening fire trickles down like fairy dust and burns out in a flicker. Uncharacteristically I leaned back and laid my Saturday weary body down on the tarp and stared directly into the sky. There were plenty of wows and ohs and ahs coming from our little group but there was one little one whose simple comments struck fire to my heart. Six-year-old Sammy stood next to her mother’s lounge chair, right above my head. Over and over, after each blast of magnificent colored fire, she asked, “Mom, is this the finale’?” “Mom, is this the finale’?” “Mom, is this the finale’?” She was afraid that the experience would end too soon and was so sure that it couldn’t get any better. But it went on and on and on, one splendiferous burst after another.

I laid there on the blue camp tarp listening to Sammy and watching the sky until I was almost dizzy, knowing God was talking to me. “Nannette, you think the best part of your life is over, that the good part ended too soon and you’re so sure it can’t possibly get better than what you’ve experienced, that the finale’ has come and gone. Come stand next to my lounge chair and let’s watch together the beautiful blaze of life from my vantage point: sunrises and sunsets, babies born and children kneeling at the altar, circles of tenderness and laughter and encouragement and empathy, spring flowers and first snowfalls, the bird nest outside your kitchen window. Now ask me just like Sammy, every time you observe something wonderful, “Is this the finale’?” “Is this the finale’?” “Is this the finale’?” and my answer will be Eternally ‘No!’ because in My world, in the world of the Gods there is no end to the best part of living. So lie back and relax and enjoy what’s right before your very eyes. Stare deeply into the blazing sky and then allow your finite mind to trust the One who is over the infinite good that lies just ahead.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, July 12, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W.
All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

The Fruit Snack Rules – Step 3 Trust in God

The other day my kids were joking around, thanking me with a little sarcastic good-humor for all the days they finished the school hours with, “that batch of chocolate chip cookies you always had baking in the oven.” They were kidding of course. My struggle with food addiction and all the bad press about sugar and children kept me from doing much baking.

Now I’m the Grandma of ten treat loving children and I do understand the fun of having something to share with them. However, the only homemade goodies at this grandma’s house are the ones their parents bring to Sunday dinner, or birthdays, or game nights. The sweets I personally keep in stock for “the Grands” are Fruit Snacks. They meet three important criteria. They don’t tempt me, they don’t make a mess, and the kids love them.

There are a few rules the children have come to understand about Grandma’s Fruit Snacks:

Lesson #1 The first rule is that the Fruit Snacks are a gift from Grandma and they are passed out spontaneously by Grandma or else given upon request by Grandma. Initially I kept the box full of the gummy treats in a place where little hands could reach, and reach they did. Now I keep them up high so the children cannot easily help themselves. I want them to know that they are a little present from me to them, not just something they can take, and take for granted, but something a little special. They all know exactly where they’re kept though, and every so often one of the little bandits drags a chair over to the cupboard, climbs up, and grabs a pack plus a few extras to pass out to the rest of the visiting siblings and cousins. That’s a no no!

Lesson #2 The second rule is that it’s not enough to simply remember the “ask first” rule. There’s the little matter of how you ask and when you ask. Fruit Snacks are not passed out to children who are grumpy, demanding, impatient, or who make an untimely request- before dinner, during dinner, or on the heels of some other family treat. Attitude and timing are definite considerations.

As you know by now I think it’s very instructive to watch and participate in earthly parenting and grand parenting and at the same time think about myself, a child of Heavenly Parents. I believe that with regard to Heavenly Father’s gifts the Fruit Snack rules also apply. Everything that’s good and good for me comes from God. Some things are given spontaneously without even asking and some are given by way of request. “Nannette” I can imagine Him saying, “There are many things in life I want to bless you with. I have placed them just out of reach. The solution is not to figuratively drag a chair to My shelf marked ‘for Nannette’ and then help yourself. Remember, ‘Ask and ye shall receive.’”

Next there’s the important matter of how to ask God. I am coming to understand that I can do the asking/seeking part and still miss the mark. Earthly parents work very hard to teach children the proper attitude for receiving assistance. When approached for help by a demanding, bossy, whiny child who wishes to be in charge of all the details, we have all been heard to say, “Now wait a minute. Maybe you need to think of a better way to ask. I think you’d better fix your attitude. Try that again.” Going to our Heavenly Father to have needs met is no different. I have to go to Him in humility, knowing that He knows best. I have to allow Him to set the terms. I have felt Him say to me at times, “Excuse me, could you think of a better way to ask?”

One of my daughters called me yesterday to tell me how things were going in her world with three children under six. “So mom, Jack is SO naughty! This morning while I was in folding laundry he went into the kitchen, pulled a chair over to the counter, and climbed up onto the counter. When I found him he was slathered in butter. The cube of butter was covered with little finger marks and the knobs of the kitchen sink faucet were all greasy. Apparently he’d tried to clean himself up by himself.” He’s just 22-months-old and when she found him covered in butter all he could say is, “Ooooooh.”

My other daughter shares that 18-month-old Esters recently had her eyes on the cookies stored atop the kitchen cupboards in the little space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. To her mother’s horror Esther decided to see of she could get a bit closer to the treat using the oven door and cooking racks. Good Grief! Helping ourselves can be very dangerous!

It’s been a while since God found my fingerprints all over something sitting on the counter that I shouldn’t be eating, but when I think about it, hardly a day goes by that I don’t drag the kitchen chair over the counter and try to help myself (figuratively speaking) to something I want immediately and think I deserve, while imagining that God is in some far off corner of the universe doing His housekeeping. I wonder if God ever calls one of His angle friends over to see what I’ve gotten myself into? Today I want to live by the Fruit Snack rules. I want to ask and ask with humility and with respect.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above…” above my reach, “and cometh down from the Father of lights…” (see James 1:17) from my Heavenly Father and my Savior, who see in perfect light exactly what will, in the end, bring me the greatest measure of joy.

By Nannette W.
Posted Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Pray As If…” Step 3 Trust In God

There’s old saying goes something like this: “Pray as if everything depends on God and then get up and go to work as if everything depends on you.” The point of this adage is to remind us that we shouldn’t pray and then simply sit around and wait until God takes action. I get the point, and I don’t want to offend anyone who has used this thought in a motivational talk, but I have a problem with this advise.

My problem is that any notion that I am alone in my work either paralyzes me into inaction or terrifies me into a workaholic frenzy. I absolutely cannot do the work of the Lord, in the Lord’s way, if I entertain the idea that it all depends on me. I have to go to work knowing I can absolutely, thoroughly, completely, without doubt, with out question depend on God to help me!

King Benjamin shares the secret of his power “to do” when he says he has served the people with “all the might, mind, and strength which the Lord hath granted unto” him. (Mosiah 2:11). Those words are among the most hopeful in all scripture. Sometimes a good old saying brings good old-fashioned wisdom, but sometimes a good old saying brings the “same old, same old” behavior that keeps me going in non-productive circles.

I believe I work harder knowing He is with me then I do trembling in perceived loneliness. Today I pray as if everything depends on God and then I get up and go to work as if the Lord is completely dependable.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, November 23, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

A Big Message from the Loss of a Little Bunny – Acceptance is the Answer

When I was eleven-years-old we had a Primary activity at my house. Each girl brought her mother. I don’t remember anything about it except the grand finale. Each young girl was supposed to stand and express their love to their mother and share some things they appreciated about her. I was part of a large class of young ladies. Girl after girl stood up and shared and cried and cried. Then it was my turn. I stood up, smiled, told the audience that I loved my mother very much. Then I shared some of the things I loved about her and sat down. No Tears! I was sure that for that reason alone my mother and everyone else doubted my sincerity.

Then it was on the Church’s Young Women’s camp. Traditionally, the last night of camp is devoted to sitting around the campfire and sharing testimonies. Summer after summer I shared an upbeat, sincere, optimistic but tearless testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon, my love for Heavenly Father and Jesus, and my gratitude for my family and my friends. As the other girls shared and cried and cried, mostly over their sorrow and remorse in connection to the damage they had done to each other during this week away from home, I waited for my turn. Sometimes I would try to think of something sad like, “What if I had a dog and it died?” It seemed that for absolutely everyone else this was a very wet event. I always went to sleep after this experience knowing that any testimony minus tears was suspect.

Last week my brother and his family had a sad experience. Their little pet, a lop-eared bunny rabbit named Ruby died. My brother and sister-in-law have four sons, age twelve and ten and twins age five. They held a little funeral for their pet and talked to the boys about the Spirit world where their little bunny was no doubt now nibbling on heavenly grass. My oldest nephew held back the tears until his just younger brother fell apart and gave him a hug. Then he lost it. Taking particular notice of one of the twins and wanting to assist him with this sad family event my sister-in-law said, “Landon, it’s OK if you don’t cry, but are you sad? Do you understand about Ruby? Are you doin’ OK? You know it’s alright to cry.” Landon replied, putting his hand on his heart, “Well, I feel it here.” Then pointing to his eyes he said, “But not here.” Landon’s heart hurt, but his eyes were OK.

“Out of the mouths of babes!” Something healed in me when I heard that story. Landon’s response awakened in me a new tenderness toward myself and all other people whose tear ducts are not constantly connected to their hearts. Someone well versed in psychology might want to delve deeper and discuss the grief cycle or repression of feelings. I choose to keep it simple. Sometimes my heart is full of pain, but my eyes are OK. Sometimes my heart is full to the brim with joy, but my eyes are OK, and that’s OK.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, October 19, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.