Bird-Legs or Wings—Which Will It Be?

I love birds. I think it’s because they’re the only wild creations I can see every day.  I don’t have to go to a zoo or an animal refuge.  All I have to do is keep my eyes open and my ears tuned in.  Years ago I bought a book with pictures and descriptions of all the plants and animals natural to North America.  I bring it on vacations and every time I see a bird I haven’t seen before I record the date and place in the book next to the picture and description.  Though I’m fascinated by all birds, I have grown extremely fond of some of them.  The ones I love most are the ones who have talked to me—not in what the ornithologist might consider bird-calls.  My favorite feathered friends are the ones the Lord has used to call to me.

Take for instance the quail.  Its spring and they are all about the neighborhood.  They’re very cute.  They’ve got that decorative little feather right on the top of their noggins.  They hang together in bunches, families I suppose.  But the thing that draws me to the quail is the way they behave.  They remind me of me (and of you actually).  Have you ever noticed that they do a lot more jogging than flying?  They run, run, run until a car screeches or a child screams by on a bicycle or a toddler tries to chase them down.  Then they do a bit of flying.  Just a bit—not too much mind you—just enough to set them on a fence post or on the rain gutter of my house.  No soaring for them.  Just enough lift to get them temporarily out of harm’s way.  Then it’s back to moving those little bird legs just as fast as they can go.

Me too! I admit it.  So often I run, run, run to the point of exhaustion, fear and anxiety, forgetting entirely that the Lord has promised that, “… they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles” (Isaiah 40:31).  Like the quail, I run until I have no choice but to turn to the Lord and finally take flight.  I run until I’m scared into flying.

In recovery we discover gospel principles that teach us to “wait upon the Lord” instead of running about taking matters into our own hands.  We learn to fly.  We discover our wings.  In the beginning, like the quail, we do a lot more jogging than flying.  Our understanding about wings and heavenly altitude is new.  With continued practice we grow more and more accustomed to using our wings instead of our little bird legs.  In fact, with a little time we come to realize that with the Lord we can fly at all times.

Tolstoy said it this way, “Jesus Christ teaches men that there is something in them which lifts them above this world with its hurries, its pleasures, and fears.  He who understands Christ’s teachings feels like a bird that did not know it had wings and now suddenly realizes that it can fly, be free and no longer heeds to fear.”

The transformation from quail to eagle takes a lot of practice, maybe a lifetime of practice.  The Lord often reminds me, “Nannette, with me you can fly!!!”  But my name and today’s date is still right there in my bird book next to the little insecure quail.  Every once in a while the Lord gives me a taste for soaring and eagles wings.  It fills me with yearning for and a vision of the day when I do not ever ever vacillate.

What I have to do is take that yearning and my developing taste for flight and get practical.  I ask the Lord to help me make progress.  I ask Him to help me spend more and more time in the air and less and less time on the ground.  I ask Him to help me remember I can fly, and He does.  Then He reminds me that though the power is His, the choice is mine. So which will it be Nannette—Bird-Legs or Wings?  That’s what I have to ask myself every morning and every hour of the day.

By Nannette W.

Posted Saturday, April 28, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

What’s In My Monkey Trap?

Yes! The Monkey Trap analogy! I love this “attention” getter. There’s a little attention getter like this at the beginning of every Gospel Doctrine lesson.  They’re all good, but this one I really understand.  I get it, maybe because it involves food.

The instructions to the teacher are to make a visual aid using a shoebox with a very short horizontal hole cut in the middle of the side of the box. Then explain to the class that “… a trap like this can be used to catch a monkey. A container is secured to the ground, and a treat (such as nuts or fruit) is placed inside. The hole in the container is large enough for a monkey’s empty hand to enter easily but too small for the monkey’s hand and the treat to come out together… A monkey sees the treat and reaches in to get it. Once the monkey grabs the treat, it will allow itself to be caught rather than let go of the treat. It will not sacrifice this prize for a greater one—its freedom” (Lesson 17: “What Shall I Do That I May Inherit Eternal Life?” New Testament Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual).

The point of this description is to help us see that we make mistakes similar to the monkey.  There just may be something we are unwilling to let it go even if keeping it is causing us to lose something better—our freedom to make progress.

The first time I was introduced to this concept I knew my personal monkey trap, the one the devil has my name written all over, was full of kinds and quantities of food and behaviors toward food that definitely limited my freedom. I was in bondage to self-loathing and obesity.  No one ever caught me and hauled me off the zoo or to jail, but I did turn my body into its own kind of a prison. I was in bondage.  My obsessions in and around food and my unhealthy weight robbed me of energy and hijacked my mind every day for decades.

The next time this particular Sunday school lesson was taught and the monkey trap analogy was used I had taken each of the 12 Steps.  I was living in recovery from unhealthy eating. I’d lost my excess weight—97 pounds. I’d been released from the bondage of a problem that had held me captive for more than 40 years.  I thought I was done with everything I might learn from the monkey trap analogy, but the Lord had other ideas.

He helped me take another honest look, and I couldn’t have been more surprised at what I found lurking in my monkey trap.  There was my hand clenched around the fear of gaining my weight back, self-consciousness about what others thought about my weight loss and my food plan, and a bit of emptiness, wondering what on earth I was going to worry incessantly about if I continued to live in recovery from my obsession with food and weight. Can you believe that waking up every day and simply weighing the same was frightening to me? But it was.   Gone was all the big hoopla over pounds lost and what would I do without all the big drama over pounds gained. I found my hand in the monkey trap once again, only this time I was not clenching a fist full of food.  It was a fist full of fear.  Over time I am becoming willing and empowered by the Lord to let go, not only of unhealthy amounts of food, but of unhealthy—unwarranted fear involving my body.

There was something else in the box I don’t think I would have noticed if I hadn’t been abstaining from addictive eating—something I couldn’t see before.  In the box were painful character weaknesses, large and small, that had fueled my addiction all these years—things I couldn’t see as long as I was overeating. Now I could see my impatience, my desire for immediate gratification, my tendency to want to control everything and  everyone, my perfectionism, my pride—painful weaknesses I needed to let go of in order to secure my continued recovery—characteristics I was clinging to because they seemed to help me get through the hard times as much as food did.

As 2011 came to a close I had been blessed with three years of what we call, “back to back abstinence.”  Through the grace of God I had let go of physical weight and much of the fear of living at a healthy weight, and I was beginning to allow the Lord to chip away at my character defects. But there it was once again, the invitation in the Gospel Doctrine lesson to consider the monkey traps in my life.

This time my eyes were clear and wide open to the possibilities of what I might be clinging to in that old box, things that still slow my progress. This time I actually felt some excitement over what I might discover.  You may find that to be strange, but having let go of monkey bait several times through the power of the Lord, I have learned that the first two steps are to become aware and admit that I am clinging to something in that box—that I’m trapped, and then to practice believing that because of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I can let go.  I can become free!  That’s exciting to me!

I’ve discovered that the devil knows exactly what to put in my box.  I also know that what’s in my box is not necessarily what’s in yours.  When the prophets tell us that Satan is crafty they’re not “just a kiddin’”!  Today I realize that Satan even puts things in the box that are good, really good—like my undying desire to be perfect and for all my children and your children to be perfect too.

What I know today is that anything I grab hold of—anything I want more than anything else can place me in bondage.  Freedom comes as I let go of all else, remove my hand from my personal “monkey bait” and take hold of the hand of the Lord.  As long as I live on the earth, the monkey trap will be filled with “treats” earmarked for me.  It’s not going away, but neither is the invitation and divine power to let go of the innumerable things that can hold me captive and to grab hold and cleave to the hand of the only One who can deliver me from bondage. In the scripture is says that, “he stretches forth his hands unto them all the day long” (Jacob 6:4). The Lord is close.  He’s standing right beside the trap. He’s waiting.  He knows I can’t even let go without His help.  Every day, multiple times each day, I ask the Lord for the power to pry my little fingers off this or that. I testify that nothing feels better or tastes better than being set free by Him.

I thank the Lord for lessons all around!  I may not believe my great great great great great grandpa was a monkey, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn something from the little furry primates.

By Nannette W.

Posted April 6, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

12 Steps: The Road to Recovery

Yesterday KSL TV aired a special on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program between LDS General Conference sessions.  Some of you have asked how you might listen to the program again or recommend it to others. Below is a link. There are four segments. I thought KSL did beautiful job.  I think they really captured the spirit of this wonderful work.  They highlighted three couples and the blessing of living in recovery from drug and alcohol, pornography, and food addiction.  It was a great privilege to be one of the participants.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=296&sid=19827401&title=a-ksl-special-12-steps—the-road-to-recovery

Love to you all,

Nannette

Addiction Recovery Channel 5 Broadcast

This is just a note to let you know that the church is doing a 30 minute broadcast on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program called “Twelve Steps – The Road to Recovery.”  It will air on Sunday at 12:30 pm between General Conference sessions on KSL Channel 5.  Below is the KSL promotional on You-Tube.  The Lord is using this program and these 12 powerful Gospel Principles or Steps to blessing many people’s lives.  I’m excited that the word is getting out.

http://youtu.be/vhFDCtCick0

Enjoy and love to all!

Nannette

Spinning Goals into Gifts, Heavens Great Transformation

Today I would like to share that much of what I desire in this life is surprisingly coming to me as a gift from God rather than a goal for God.

In the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” page 8 one of the founders, Bill W. shares, “I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness in a way that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.”

Happiness, peace, and usefulness, in great abundance, are certainly what I have always wanted and thought I was working toward. The paradoxical thing about my life today is that happiness, peace, and usefulness are no longer the focus of my desires, but they have become the byproduct applying each of the gospel centered 12 Steps and using all the tools the Lord has given me to live in daily, hourly, moment by moment connection with Him. The other day, I simply had to pause in the middle of an activity and acknowledge the peace I was feeling. I hadn’t been “working” on peace. I hadn’t set a new goal to be more at peace, but there I was feeling it. It was given to me. It was a very tangible thing like being cold or hot or tired or rested or full or hungry. I was in peace, a fact I never could have manufactured. I do desire even greater happiness, peace, and usefulness. Who doesn’t! However today I know that this cannot be my focus. In fact when I make these things my aim I begin to feel crazy inside. My experience is this – First I must come unto Christ in all the ways I know how and seek to know what He wants me to do next, then I must seek His power to do what I think He wants me to do, and finally I must take action believing that He is helping me. I am nowhere near perfect or even proficient at living this way, but when I do the happiness, peace and usefulness I obsessed over for so many years come – as gifts received from God rather than goals achieved for God.

By Nannette W.

Posted Friday, August 12, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Self-Knowledge is Overrated

Today I would like to share on the words from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, “Self-knowledge availed us nothing.”

There has been much scientific advancement in the study of addiction. I must admit that it does bring a certain relief to know that those of us who struggle with addictive substances and behaviors have developed scientifically measurable signs of illness of both mind and body, that our ability to make good choices has actually become physiologically weak. However, knowing about me does not fix me. Self-knowledge is not the cure. The best self-knowledge can do is motivate me to seek the cure. It’s no different than any other illness in that naming it, describing it scientifically, and even finding its root cause will never have the power to heal it. I find it very important to remember that I can never replace understanding my disease, though interesting and perhaps motivating, with the real work of overcoming my disease.

By Nannette W.

Posted Thursday, August 11, 2011

Copyright 2011 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

"Addiction Recovery Program Brings Individuals to Christ"

This is a wonderful article on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Addiction Recovery Program. It was posted yesterday on the Church’s web site . The Lord has given us a wonderful program to help us come unto Him for the direction and power we so desperately need to change our lives and live in recovery from any type of addiction.

http://lds.org/church/news/addiction-recovery-program-brings-individuals-to-christ?lang=eng

Please feel free to share this article with anyone in your life who is suffering because of their own addiction or because of the addiction of a loved one.

Elder Ballard Speaks Out on Addiction and Recovery

Recently Elder Ballard was interviewed about the problem of addiction and the possibility of recovery. I thought you might be interested in what he had to say.
His interview was broadcast on KUTV Channel 2 May 10, 2011 at 10:00 pm
here is the link:

http://connect2utah.com/libraries/nxd/media/index.php?data=media_player&v=259827

Heart-deep Recovery Lesson 3: Plavix or Me on Plavix! (Part Four of Four)

One of the biggest frustrations of my aftercare is all the medication I have to take. I now have one of those pill containers marked with the days of the week to help me keep the whole thing sorted out, the kind of thing peoples’ grandparents use. Imagine that! The prescriptions that seem to make the most visible difference are the ones for Plavix and aspirin–the blood thinners. Bruises, bruises, bruises! I hate it! I called the doctor and told him I must surely be getting too much blood thinner because I was covered with bruises. He took no pity on me whatsoever.

I was pretty angry until one day, after I’d bumped my hip on the kitchen counter, stubbed my big toe, hit my elbow on the door jam, and accidentally slammed my head in the door going out to the garage (OK, maybe that all took two days), it dawned on me that the problem, the real problem, was not the blood thinners, it was me on blood thinners. Plavix and aspirin don’t make bruises in and of themselves. I have bruises because I’m a klutz and on blood thinners every klutzy thing I do becomes visible.

I can get rid of the bruises by getting rid of the Plavix and put myself at risk or I can get rid of the bruises by being more conscious of what I am doing.

So, instead of spending my energy trying to rid myself of all the indicators God has put in place to help me see the truth (even though the truth is colored black and blue) I choose to live in gratitude for all the clues, the things He’s placed in my life like Plavix, and children, and callings, and challenges that make the truth plain. With my awareness, He can help me make the changes I need to make in life.

Conclusion
We overcome this world by degrees. A heart attack or any kind of earth life attack is an invitation to change, to be a little different, and to reach out to the Lord for direction and power over things we’ve never ever considered. Jesus is the Lord of my progress, my conversion, my change. Because of Him and with Him, in matters of the heart both physical and spiritual, I do not have to be what I have been. So Nannette, the pickax and the Plavix are not the enemy, and if you listen, you’ll know that they speak to you for Him.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, September 5, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W.
All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Heart-deep Recovery Lesson 2: Who’s to Blame? (Part Three of Four)

“You’d be surprised how many people have heart attacks with a snow shovel in their hands,” I heard over and over from the hospital personnel.

“That’s it!” I thought. “Let’s blame the sledge hammer and the pickax.”

It’s the most “natural man” thing in the world to search for something or someone to blame—something or someone that Is Not Us! Many people pay a therapist to “peel the onion” and see what lurks inside. King David humbly invites the Lord to take an intensive look when he says “Search me, O God, and know my heart” (Psalms 139:23). My cardiologist went in with a camera and tools for excavating. The point is to look beyond the obvious.

As we say in addiction recovery, our problem is “a symptom of other causes and conditions” (A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing p, 21). And so it was with the condition of my heart. It wasn’t really about the sledge hammer or the pickax, the high blood pressure or the extreme discomfort. Even the enzymes in my blood were not the enemy. They were all indicators.

All recovery, cardiac or otherwise, requires that we look for clues deep within, beyond the hammer and the ice or whatever person, place, thing, or situation we’re tempted to blame. It takes courage to locate the real blockage—the actual thing that has us stuck. Today I’m grateful for physical and spiritual clues—even painful ones—that help me take positive action on the condition of my heart.

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, September 4, 2010

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W.
All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.