The 12 Steps – God’s Rx for Pain – Introduction

My ears suddenly perked up as I heard the teacher say, “Sometimes we refer to addiction as self-medication.” I’ll never forget the moment I was introduced to that concept.  I was sitting in a graduate level class for students desiring to become addiction recovery counselors.  I remember thinking, “That means the call to an addictive substance or behavior does not come out of nowhere.  It comes out of a need to avoid or dull very real physical or emotional discomfort or pain.”

This understanding was reinforced when I read the first paragraph of LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program, A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing, “Many of us began our addictions out of curiosity. Some of us became involved because of a justifiable need for a prescription drug or as an act of deliberate rebellion. Many began this path when barely older than children.  Whatever our motive for starting and our circumstances, we soon discovered that the addiction relieved more than just physical pain.  It provided stimulation or numbed painful feelings or moods. It helped us avoid the problems we faced— or so we thought. For a while, we felt free of fear, worry, loneliness, discouragement, regret, or boredom. But because life is full of the conditions that prompt these kinds of feelings, we resorted to our addictions more and more often.”

As I participate in LDS Addiction Recovery Program meetings I often hear individuals share on the pains they have suffered and the relief that has come as they have taken a particular step.  I wonder—if turning to addictive substances and behaviors is our attempt to self-medicate the personal pain that seems to be such a part of earth life, could it be that each one of the steps of recovery addresses a very specific painful or difficult aspect of our mortal experience? Maybe the war between addiction and recovery is a battle between the world’s prescription and the Lord’s prescription for pain.

Whether we struggle with addiction or not, we are all experiencing the pains of earth life and these 12 Steps represent powerful Gospel principles with potential to help any of us.  If I simply let my mind wander through our family and around our the block and I see the pain of economic insecurity, the pain of being single, the pain of raising a family, the pain of trying to do all that seems needful in each day, the pain of children making poor choices, the pains associated with growing older, the pain of raising children born with infirmities.  Even as I write today we have a new little baby in our family fighting for his life.  I find it critical to my spiritual, emotional, and physical wellbeing to know where and how to deal with pain in a way that brings real lasting relief, the relief that comes through Jesus Christ.

Over the next few days I’m going to take a walk through each of the 12 Steps, examining each one for its pain relieving qualities.  As you read you may want to keep in mind some painful aspect of your own situation and think about how each of the 12 Steps might bring relief.

(To be continued)

By Nannette W.  Posted Tuesday, October17, 2011

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

With One or With All – 12 Step Parenting and Prevention

I clearly remember the day I sent my first child off to public school. She wasn’t the traditional child of five. She was a teenager entering junior high school after being taught at home for six years. She was the first of five to leave my little educational nest. I prepared her that day with all the things you’d expect: a sack lunch, pocket folders, new pencils and pens, a spiral notebook, a map of the school, and a lot of “You’ll be OK! You’re going to do just fine!”

I waved good-bye as she headed out into the fall air to catch the school bus. As I turned to go into the house and face the new day with my home school class, smaller by one, something very painful tightened in my throat and tears started to spill from my eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute!” I called through the opening in the door to the little group of four, who were giggling and eating Cheerios and bananas around the kitchen table.

I didn’t venture too far off, but that morning I walked around the block a good many times before going back in the house to be the mother and teacher. I cried and I talked to God. “Lord, if I can’t teach all of them, I’m not sure I can or want to teach any of them. It feels sad. It feels incomplete.”

That was the morning the Spirit told me I had to become forever willing to be fully present with the members of my family at hand. “Work with the ones you are with Nannette. The family is not an all or nothing proposition, not the Lord’s vast family or your little family.” He reminded me that my all or nothing mother mentality extended into subjects other that education. It threatened the way I felt about spiritual family activities, recreational family activities, celebrations and holidays. This was the morning the Lord invited me to accept the truth that as my family grew I would not always have everyone at family prayer, family night, family scripture study, family dinner, on the family vacation, at the wedding, sitting around the table at Thanksgiving dinner, or at the yearly Christmas Sing Along.

I remember finally pulling myself together that morning and gathering my group for opening prayer, the Pledge of Allegiance, a brand new scripture and a poem to memorize, new books, and a new schedule. Without missing too many beats we were off and running. Since that day I’ve had many “family” experiences with three out of five, two out of five, and even one out of five. I have felt the Lord smile at my willingness to participate with Him in family activities with all those willing and able to be present.

For many of us the joy of the holidays is threatened by the sadness we feel over the ones who are missing for whatever reason. Today, when I’m tempted to allow the joy I might experience, with the ones I’m with, to be overshadowed by the emptiness of a less than perfect attendance, I get honest with the Lord. I say to Him, “Lord, I just want everyone present and accounted for.” “Me too!” I seem to hear my Heavenly Father whisper. “Me too. But just like you, though my heart longs for the presence of all my children, I can’t hold myself back from the ones who are present. I give myself fully to being, teaching, loving, and celebrating with one or with all.

By Nannette W.
Posted Thursday, December 31, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

My God in Simple Terms – Addiction Prevention

Several months ago my nephew received the Priesthood. As a special surprise for him my sister-in-law asked each member of our extended family to write him a note. In this note we were supposed to share something of ourselves. She gave us several ideas. The option I chose was to put into words some of the most important things I have ever learned. I’ve decided to share my letter with you:

Dear ______,
As you know your Uncle and I are serving a mission. Our work is to help members of the Church who have become addicted to substances and behaviors that are destroying their lives. We have seen many miracles in our own lives and in the lives of others. I want to share some of the most important things I have learned about the Gospel during my mission.

1. Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit love me and you more than we can even imagine. Even though we have not been perfect, even though we make mistakes they still love us.

2. They are “omniscient.” That means they know everything in the universe. That includes everything about you and me. They know exactly what we need in order to continue to learn and grow.

3. They are “omnipotent.” That means that they have all the power. Any power you and I have comes from them. Any power we need must come from them.

4. So, when I do anything good (accomplish a goal, repent of a sin, serve another person) I am being directed and given power by God.

5. They will help me with anything I need help with – Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. I use to think that maybe some things were too insignificant, too small to bother my Heavenly Father about. I use to think that some things in my life were too hard, that even God couldn’t help me with some things. Today I know that if I am filled with worry and care over anything, Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit care too.

6. I use to think that they would only help me with “good kid problems” like if I lost my keys or I needed to find a job or had the flue. I’ve learned that they want to help me especially with things that cause me to feel bad about myself, things in my life I need to repent of, ways I need to change. In fact, I have learned that I can’t change without their help.

7. I have learned that I can go to them and be honest about any of my weaknesses and admit that I can’t change, or solve a particular problem, or endure a trial, or accomplish a goal by myself. I can ask them to change my heart and help me know what to do and to give me the power to do the right thing. They will always respond.

8. I have learned that when I live the commandments to the best of my ability it’s a way of telling them I love them and that I need their help. When I pray, or read the scriptures, or go the church it’s like sending them a little invitation giving them permission to help me.

9. Finally I have come to appreciate the life and work of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. It is because of the Atonement that I can receive help from Heavenly Father and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The help we receive because of the Atonement is called Grace. Grace is the “enabling power” that can help us do something we would not be able to do by ourselves. I need this power every day in small things and in big things. You will too.

10. One of my favorite songs is “Choose the Right.” Choosing the right is more than just knowing right from wrong. There are many people in the world who know what they should do. Today I know that the Jesus will not only help me know what is right but that He can give me the strength to actually do what is right.

I love you. You are going to be a great man. I hope the things I have shared with you will help you on your way.

With much love,
Aunt Nan

The things I shared with my nephew are foundational to Addiction Recovery, so why would I share them with a 12-year-old young man who is about to receive the Priesthood? I shared them because I believe they are not only foundational to recovery; they are the foundation of addiction prevention. Addiction is what I turn to habitually, that’s destructive, instead of turning to God. I wanted to share with my nephew and now with each of you the things I know about God today that help me feel comfortable and willing to turn to Him instead of anything else. They can be taught in very simple terms. They can be taught to children of every age, and they can be demonstrated in the way we solve our own problems in front of children.

By Nannette W.
Posted Sunday, October 24, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“Good Job Grandma!” – Step 12 Service by Example

I’ve spent a lifetime teaching children about doing good and then keeping a careful watch over them. I’ve taught children all about prayer, who we pray to, the reasons we pray, and the parts of prayer, how to open a prayer, and in whose name we pray. I’ve listened to their prayers and whispered ideas into their ears to help them with content when they get stuck. That’s all well and good and very important, but I think we do our most effective teaching when we set the example with our own good work, in the open, in front of our kids.

Not long ago Sammy was visiting for the morning. I was tending and at the same time I was trying to sneak in the things that help me start my day off on the right foot. Sammy wandered into my office just as I was kneeling down to pray.

“Sammy, Grandma needs to say her prayers. Do you want to have a prayer with Grandma?”

“No, I just want to listen to your prayers.”

“OK,” I said. Sammy sat in the chair and listened as I prayed about my need to have heavenly help throughout the day and expressed my gratitude to Heavenly Father for my blessings, making a special point of thanking Him for her.

I closed my prayer with the customary “Amen” and before I could get to my feet Sammy patted me on the shoulder with her little hand and congratulated me for a job well done.
I will never forget the words that came with the gentle pat on my back. Night after night times five kids I have said them myself, but it had been many years since my mother praised my effort to pray. Sammy simply said, “Good job Grandma!”

It was a teaching moment that came about not because of a big plan, but because I was trying to carrying out the Lord’s plan in my own life with a little learner near by.

By Nannette W.
Posted Monday, June 22, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“I A Princess!”

The princess theme has been a massive marketing success. Princess dolls, and posters, and playthings abound. The fascination of today’s little girls with Princesses has definitely hit my family. I have five little princesses of my own: Eliza, Madeline, Samantha, Gracie and Esther.

Eliza, now age ten is the Senor Princess. She was the first among my granddaughters to own a Cinderella blue gown complete with crown and slippers. I asked her tonight if she has a favorite Princess. “Well Grandma, I do, and you can probably guess which one. She looks like me, except she doesn’t have any freckles, and she likes to do what I like to do,” replied my little bookworm. “Belle!” I guessed, and I was right.

“Grandma, which is your favorite Princess?” asked five-year-old Sammy as I entered her house last week. Then she gave me a hand full of little princess action figures representing each of my choices. “You can only pick one, Grandma!”

Maddie’s mother overheard a conversation between her five year old and a neighbor girl the other day that went something like this:
“Let’s play modeling,” suggested the friend.
“What’s that?” questioned five-year-old Madeline.
“Well, you walk out and walk down a little way and turn around and walk back.”
“That sounds boring,” responded Maddie. “Let’s play Royalty!”

Gracie, our little redheaded two-year old is really into the princess thing already. The other night she was dressed in her pajamas and ready for bed but fought tooth and nail against being put in her crib for the night. Her issue? Well these were her words:

“I Princess!!!” she cried out.

She was full of resolve and would not budge until her mother got a princess dress out of the box of dress-ups and put it over her pajamas.

Finally last and littlest of all, Esther recently left the realms above to join her Princess Cousins. Esther has no present interest in Princessie things, but there is no name more regal in all of scripture than Esther. She reminds us that the great plan of the King is for all girls to become Queens.

I must have been about eight or nine the first time I saw the Shirley Temple version of “The Little Princess.” I’ll never forget her words to the crotchety, bitter woman Miss. Muenchen, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you that all girls are princesses?”

“That’s right!” I remember thinking. Somehow, even then, I knew it was true.

There are so many grown up Princesses among us who are in grave trouble today. We seem to have lost sight of our true identity. We’ve decided that because we aren’t perfect we probably aren’t on the list of “favorite” Princesses. We’ve decided to play “model” even though it’s boring, instead of practicing our own, “Royalty.” And we have treated ourselves and allowed others to treat us as less than daughters of The King. We pick and choose when to wear our crown and our sparkly shoes and poofy dress and when to dress down because all that Princess stuff gets in the way.

I wonder if there’s a bit of Eternal understanding being awakened in our little girls. I want to stand up and cheer for all of them. I want to tell Sammy that there is no Princess in God’s Kingdom more important or more valuable to The King, Jesus Christ, than her. I want to tell Gracie, “You are indeed a little Princess. You can and should dress like one inside and out, all day, every day. Don’t allow any one to treat you like any thing less, and don’t ever treat yourself as anything but!” I want to tell Madeline that we are not here to just “play Royalty” but to practice and develop our very authentic “Royalty.” And finally I want to tell Eliza who has outgrown the Princess clothes in the dress up box and Esther who hasn’t grown into them yet, that even in your blue jeans or bundled in a blanket in your mother’s arms you are still Princesses.

“I A Princess!”

“That’s Right Little Girls, And Don’t You Ever Forget It”

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday, April 11, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“You Are More Important Than The Couch!” – Step 5 – Confession

I started babysitting when I was about 10 years old, mostly for my own family. I had one little sister and by the time I was twelve I had five little brothers. My favorite part of the babysitting was when everyone was finally in bed. That was when I could watch TV, make cookies, or just work on a project in solitude, a hard thing to find in a house of nine. There were times when my parents came home to find me in tears because I was not successful at crowd control, and my little brothers refused to take their “tween” babysitter seriously.

The “while I was babysitting” tears I remember most poignantly though, had nothing to do with my noncompliant siblings. On this particular night they were all sound asleep. My parents had just purchased a new couch. It was something they afforded over time by saving a portion of my dad’s monthly schoolteacher salary. To that point most of the family furniture had been the, “We have a couch if you think you could use it” variety. The kind that newly weds are grateful to get. That night I sat on the new sofa wondering what to do with all the quiet when I suddenly had a fancy idea. I would do my nails. Well you probably have guessed where this story goes, or at least where the nail polish went. The bottle of clear polish that I set on the middle cushion of the long saved for piece of furniture tipped over and spilled.

There was absolutely nothing I could do to fix the mess. I cried until I didn’t think I could cry any more and then I cried some more. It was the longest evening of my life. I imagined over and over the moment when my parents would enter the door and I would have to tell them what I had done.

Well, of course the moment finally arrived. My confession was short and full of genuine remorse. I don’t know what I expected, but what I received from my mother was the following:
· Truth – “What’s done is done.”
· Direction – “Please don’t paint your nails on the couch.”
· Action – “Let’s turn the middle cushion over.”
· Empathy – “I remember the day,” my mother shared, “when I broke my mother’s beautiful vase and thought I’d die, and she told me I was more important that the vase.”
· Love – “You are more important than the couch, Nannette!”

As parents, my husband and I have used similar words with our children who were in the painful position of needing to confess something difficult. “Your more important than the car, the insurance rate, the lamp, rug, the money…”

Step 5 is one of the most courageous Steps we ever take. It is to “Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs.” Now, I certainly realize that spilling fingernail polish on the new sofa is hardly representative of the very difficult things we are called to confess in Step 5, but my experience and the experience of others who have taken this step bears out that our loving Heavenly Father and the ecclesiastical leaders that represent Him are as merciful as my mother was that sad night.

When we turn to the Lord in honesty and humility and share those things we profoundly wish we had never done, He meets our confession with truth, direction, action we can take, empathy, and love. The old saying goes, “Confession is good for the soul.” The great blessing of confession is the peace that comes from knowing that we have been square with ourselves, with another human being, and with God. Now we can move forward. And if we listen carefully we will feel Him say: “You are more important to me than any mess you have made!”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“I Know Because My Mother Tried” – Step 1 Honesty

Tonight my daughter and I were having the usual, “How was your day?” exchange over the telephone. I told her my day was great and then I added my predictable un-recovered, perfectionist addendum, some comment about something I hadn’t accomplished. She replied musically, using a phrase from a Michael McLean song, only her version had a little twist. The actual words are, “I can’t do everything. I know because I’ve tried …” My daughters words were, “I can’t do everything. I know because my mother tried.”

That made me smile. There are things about me, ways I’ve behave toward life that I don’t want to pass on to my children and grandchildren. Because I work on recovery in the open, in front of my family, they are aware of my weaknesses. That’s OK. There is obvious value when parents pass down righteous traditions. There is also tremendous merit in humbly demonstrating to those we love that we are aware of and desire to address our weaknesses. There are things about our characters that we are not proud of, and things we do not wish to pass down through the generations. Perhaps the most righteous tradition we can pass down to our children has to do with the way we address our own unrighteousness. Jesus gives us the following understanding:

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

If I practice, in the open, in front of my family, coming unto Christ, in my weakness, and work toward becoming perfected in Him, through Him, and because of Him, perhaps the promise found in Ether 12:27 will not only bless me but my loved ones as well. Maybe my weakness, well addressed, will become their strength! Maybe there are things my kids will know “because their mother tried.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, March 20, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

“I Wish She Was The Mother!” – Step 3

Little children seem to have a strong sense and sensitivity to the serenity or the lack of it in others. I was reminded of this reality as a young mother of three preschool age children. One night I was in the middle of the Saturday night bath routine – one child in and scrubbed, out and dried, nails clipped, and hair brushed – times three kids. In the middle of this rubber-ducky routine my mom walked in the house. She offered to help dress my oldest little girl Mandy and brush out her blond head feathers while I worked toward bedtime with the other kids.

I continued to rush about and scurried into the family room where my mom was visiting with Mandy and sweetly brushing out her hair. Mandy looked over at me as I entered the room. I’m sure she could sense that I was now ready to move onto the next phase of the day. “Time for all kids to be in bed!” Her response to my passion for putting an end to a very busy day as soon as possible came in the form of a wish. These were the words that came out of her mouth that stopped me in my tracks. “I wish she was the mother,” she said looking up at my mother. At that point my first thought was probably “I wish she was the mother too. I’m exhausted!”

Actually Mandy’s honesty and sensitivity to her peaceful Grandma made me smile. I specifically remember that I did not feel jealous of my mother or discouraged in any way about my own motherhood. I did recognize this humbling truth; “I will never be able to be all things to all my children at all times.” I felt grateful that God sends earthly angles to fill in where my energy and know-how leave off.

That night I wrote out Mandy’s words at the top of a clean white page in my journal, “I wish she was the mother.” Then I thanked the Lord on paper for creating grandmas. You are veterans, seasoned in earthly experience, and now freed from the heaviness of midlife responsibility to share with us the wisdom and love of a lifetime. God bless us all at every age and stage of life to trust His plan for our usefulness.

This post is dedicated to my mother who just celebrated her 78th Birthday. Happy Birthday Mom! I couldn’t be more grateful that you’re “the mother.”

By Nannette W.
Posted Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Parents kind of WHAT? – Step 4 Truth

Leave it to the three year olds of the world to tell the truth as they see it. My brother and his wife had the good fortune of having two at the same time, boys, Landon and Gavin. Double fun! Double trouble! And, double the “out of the mouths of babes” moments!

These two three year olds were right on schedule with their first memorized Primary song. “I am a child of God,” Landon sang out one day. “And He has sent me here,” he continued. His proud parents appreciated every note and every word, pleased with the foundational truths there little fellow was beginning to grasp.

Landon’s rendition of the next part of the song took his devoted parents by surprise. Landon got a little bit creative. He sang out, “Has given me an earthly home With parents KIND OF DEAR!” Oh dear!

Landon’s adaptation was rehearsed for family and friends over telephone lines, over the Internet, and around the dining room table. His lyrics added a little levity to any gathering. There was a kind of knowing smile and laugh from anyone hearing the telling. Deep down I think we all know we fall short of “kind and dear.”

When we take Step 4 we “Make a searching and fearless written moral inventory of ourselves.” When I first read the 12 Steps I thought, “Well, I’ll take the first three steps and the last three, but I’m not taking those steps in the middle. I was afraid of what I might find, things I might remember and have to deal with that had long been put away. I had tried my best to be a good person, a good wife, and a good mother, but I knew in my heart that mistakes had been made, and though I don’t like the word, especially if it is attached to me, sins had been committed. What if I found that the bad outweighed the good?

To my surprise “Making a searching and fearless written moral inventory” of myself turned out to be a great blessing. It was a blessing because it was a careful visit with the Truth, with Jesus Christ, about me. Through the Holy Ghost He showed me my strengths and He verified my weaknesses. With the help of the Lord, taking Step 4 helped me put the events of my life into perspective. Before I took Step 4 I let Satan take my inventory for me. The devil only has two approaches. He either uses his resources to convince us we are doing fine on our own, or that we are worthless – Either that we don’t need God or that God couldn’t possibly need us.

People give a knowing smile when they hear Landon’s rendition of “I Am A Child of God” because his words speak the truth. It’s the same truth we find when we do our 4th Step Inventory. My parents were “kind of dear” and so were their parents and so are the parents of my children. Not one of us has managed to be “kind and dear” fulltime!

None of us will leave a perfect “kind and dear” record for our children. The most important legacy we can leave to others is that we knew our need and we called out for divine direction and power. The love we feel and the divine perspective we receive as we take the middle steps, the ones I wanted to skip, are invaluable. They propel us to sing out, “Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do To live with Him someday.”1

By Nannette W.
Posted Saturday February 7, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit. This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

My Goodly Parents, Carrying the Message by Teaching “Somewhat” – Step 12

Today would have been my Father’s 80th Birthday. That’s hard to even comprehend, because when he left us thirty-eight years ago he was the forty-two year old daddy of two daughters and five sons, ages ranging from sixteen (me) to age three. I write this as a tribute to him and as a reminder to me.

The first words of the Book of Mormon are these. “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father…” Nephi credits his parents with laying his educational and spiritual foundation. I believe that this is no truer for Nephi than it is for me. My time with my father was cut short. My father was a brilliant scientist and a well-read student of the gospel. He died when I was only sixteen years old. How can I possibly say that I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father?

I guess that the most instructive word in this sentence is, “somewhat.” It means “to a considerable degree, significantly.” My father’s legacy of learning, passed to me, truly was complete. Not that my head is full of all the facts and figures and understandings that comprise the body of his knowledge. No, that is not it at all.

What my father passed on to me is three fold. During his lifetime he had learned that the three most important things in life are God, Family, and Country. He truly qualifies as a goodly parent even though he left me early in my life, because he gave me a love for learning in these significant areas of life.

He showed me by example what it looks like to put God first and to love the word of God and His restored gospel. I saw him get out of his bed and bend his cancer-ridden body before the Lord in prayer time and time again. The gospel was what he loved to discuss. We have been commanded to talk of Christ and to rejoice in Christ, and “talk of” and “rejoice in” he did. This is not common in today’s world and I am most grateful for his example.

My father valued his family. It was important to him that we be given truth. He was never too tired to explain Heavenly Father’s plan one more time to a frightened little child (me) who could not sleep. Family night and family scripture study were important to him and were carried out before most of the church even attempted that challenge.

When I say he loved his country he did, but when I think of the love of my father for “land” I don’t just mean our homeland. My dad was a scientist because he loved the whole earth and everything therein. He was curious about everything from the tallest mountain to the tiniest electron.

Several summers ago I had the experience of being reminded of this inheritance as I stood with my children in the California home I grew up in and in the classroom where my father taught chemistry until he died. It was wonderful to share the past with my family, but to me it was more than that. I stood in these sweet places of my past, surrounded by memories, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I believe that it was a reminder of who I am and where I come from. I am not the scholar my dad is but I love the things he loved and I hate the things he hated. I think that means I was taught somewhat (significantly) in all the learning of my father.

Nephi says that he was born of “goodly parents,” of a goodly father and mother, “therefore [he] was taught somewhat in all the learning of his father.” The greatest gift a child can receive is the like-mindedness of his or her parents in regard to what needs to be taught. I was given this blessing. It turned out to be very significant in the lives of my brothers and sister and I that my mother was “goodly” because we lost our father to cancer at the age of forty-two. It is a wonder to me that though my father was there and my mother was here, the goodly teaching in word and example went on and still goes on today. The diffusion of the learning of my father with my mother as chief agent is a divine example of the goodly parents principle.

If we are to progress in this life it is important to be very aware of the truth the “goodly” have passed to us. We are not our own, and the truth we have inherited is not our own. I thank my goodly parents with all my heart for their unified, un-disrupted teaching.

In the fellowship of recovery we come to the challenge of teaching, or carrying the message to others when we get to Step 12.  Our family backgrounds are not the same.  Some of us have had very difficult lives as children and as parents.  As a result of applying these 12 Steps to our lives many of us are just now coming to understand what is most important.  I believe that the transformation in our lives today shines a very bright light on what we now desire to pass along to future generations.  I want to remember that in only sixteen short years my dad was able to teach his young daughter what was most important to him.  I’ve more than tripled my age since then, but what he taught me still really matters. I testify that it’s never too early to teach “somewhat” and it’s absolutely never too late either!

Happy Birthday Dad!

By Nannette W.
Posted Friday, January 23, 2009

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W.
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