The New “Addiction Recovery Program” Website Featured Today at lds.org

Hi Friends,

I want to let you know that one of  today’s featured stories on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints website is the announcement that the Church now has a website dedicated to the Addiction Recovery Program. I know that this information will be a blessing to many.  It’s the third story down. When you click on it you will be taken to today’s article in Church News and Events and then to the website itself http://arp.lds.org.  One of the great things about the new site is the ability to find a meeting in your area.  You just type in your city, state, a zip and check the type of meeting you want. All the meetings within one hundred miles come up. Give it a try. Also featured is a video of a very inspiring recovery story along with messages to those struggling with addiction, to family members, and to ecclesiastical leaders.

Several years ago I was asked to give the key note address at Stake Women’s Enrichment.  I was asked to introduce the 12 Steps of Recovery to the women and tell them a little about the LDS Addiction Recovery Program.  I stood up at the pulpit and looked over my audience, beautiful women gathered at the church on a Saturday morning in their Sunday best, and I wondered who might possibly be blessed by my message. I proceeded.  At the end of my talk the stake president leaned over and thanked me and said these words I will never forget, “Sister Wiggins, there is not one woman here whose life will not be affected by addiction.”

With those words in mind I invite you to become familiar with the wonderful new website and with this program.  I know that the Lord is using the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) to bring recovery and hope to many of us, as we come to understand the power available through the Atonement.  This power is real.  I see it at work in the lives of individuals every day. I know that this is an important part of His “rescue!” Take a look at: lds.org, the third story down.

With much love,

Nannette

In the Nest or Not—It’s All Part of the Plan

Speaking of birds—outside our kitchen window is a big old apple tree.  In that tree hangs a large bird house.  It was a father and son project years ago.  It’s been mended many times by the father part of the team.  Last year it blew apart in the wind.  This year my husband cleaned out past nesting materials, nailed the bottom back on, repainted it with a fresh coat of bright red paint and secured it to the tree.  He wanted to make sure that our yearly bird visitors would have a better experience this season.   Over the years it’s been the starter home for several batches of starlings.  Through the nesting season we have a good time observing mom and dad starling wear themselves to a frazzle. We watch them feather the nest, keep those eggs warm, search out and bring home worm after worn after worm, and conduct flying lessons, all the while keeping the neighbor’s cat at bay. By the time they all abandon the nest for the season the babies look pretty perky, but the parents look incredibly haggard. They’ve given it their all—that’s what starlings do.

One evening recently my daughter pointed out a nest that has been built this spring in the flowering pear tree next to her front porch.  The very next day there were three blue eggs in the nest with a mother robin perched on top.  During the night there was a tremendous wind that not only blew away the blossoms on all the trees but took down shingles and pieces of siding from homes in the neighborhood.  That mother robin was not going anywhere though.  No amount of opposition was going to cause her to leave her post.  My grandkids were concerned and checked on her through the night.  She was immovable!

I’ve been thinking about these bird parents lately and their diligence and wholehearted dedication to provide for and nurture their children.  It’s an inspiring thing to observe. It’s a part of who they are.  It’s a part of their very nature. They came that way. I’ve also been thinking about my own experience as a parent and how excruciatingly hard it is to let go when the providing and nurturing days are over.  I’ve been thinking about my friends who have young adult children who are struggling for their lives. The advice they receive over and over again is that they have to let go—they have to cut the strings! We all know that further growth can come to our grown children only as we stop bringing home the “worms” and hold a “graduation from flight school,” no matter how great or small their altitude.

Knowing that, my heart still returns to the mother robin and her windy night vigil.  In my office hangs a wonderful drawing of a woman holding her baby in protective arms.  The look in her eyes says, “Don’t you even think of harming my child.” I love that picture.  It’s the way I feel to this day—five married kids and fourteen grandchildren down the road.

Today is Mother’s Day.  In my life and in my work I am surrounded by mothers and fathers struggling to let go of adult children. Letting go is not easy. That’s the understatement of the year. It may be what we’re called to do now, but it seems completely counter to the devotion we were called to then. If it seems hard it’s because it is.  We come by the struggle rightfully.  We are the mother robin who would risk life and limb for her babies. We are that haggard father bird at the end of a very long season. It’s who we are.  It’s the way we came.

I want you to know that I honor each of you and your struggle.  I believe our Heavenly Parents have the greatest compassion for those of us who are at the “letting go” part of life.  They’re grateful for every windy night you stayed perched on that nest and for every worm you brought home to hungry mouths. They know!  What the Lord is asking us to do today is not simply to let go but to go and let Him take over where we left off.

As one who could never imagine giving my chicks the boot and leaving the perch, and who is doing so kicking and screaming, I will share that peace comes to me only when I imagine that in letting go I am placing each of my children in the hands of the Lord, in His nest, and under His very capable wing.

By Nannette W.

Posted Sunday, May 13, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

Bird-Legs or Wings—Which Will It Be?

I love birds. I think it’s because they’re the only wild creations I can see every day.  I don’t have to go to a zoo or an animal refuge.  All I have to do is keep my eyes open and my ears tuned in.  Years ago I bought a book with pictures and descriptions of all the plants and animals natural to North America.  I bring it on vacations and every time I see a bird I haven’t seen before I record the date and place in the book next to the picture and description.  Though I’m fascinated by all birds, I have grown extremely fond of some of them.  The ones I love most are the ones who have talked to me—not in what the ornithologist might consider bird-calls.  My favorite feathered friends are the ones the Lord has used to call to me.

Take for instance the quail.  Its spring and they are all about the neighborhood.  They’re very cute.  They’ve got that decorative little feather right on the top of their noggins.  They hang together in bunches, families I suppose.  But the thing that draws me to the quail is the way they behave.  They remind me of me (and of you actually).  Have you ever noticed that they do a lot more jogging than flying?  They run, run, run until a car screeches or a child screams by on a bicycle or a toddler tries to chase them down.  Then they do a bit of flying.  Just a bit—not too much mind you—just enough to set them on a fence post or on the rain gutter of my house.  No soaring for them.  Just enough lift to get them temporarily out of harm’s way.  Then it’s back to moving those little bird legs just as fast as they can go.

Me too! I admit it.  So often I run, run, run to the point of exhaustion, fear and anxiety, forgetting entirely that the Lord has promised that, “… they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles” (Isaiah 40:31).  Like the quail, I run until I have no choice but to turn to the Lord and finally take flight.  I run until I’m scared into flying.

In recovery we discover gospel principles that teach us to “wait upon the Lord” instead of running about taking matters into our own hands.  We learn to fly.  We discover our wings.  In the beginning, like the quail, we do a lot more jogging than flying.  Our understanding about wings and heavenly altitude is new.  With continued practice we grow more and more accustomed to using our wings instead of our little bird legs.  In fact, with a little time we come to realize that with the Lord we can fly at all times.

Tolstoy said it this way, “Jesus Christ teaches men that there is something in them which lifts them above this world with its hurries, its pleasures, and fears.  He who understands Christ’s teachings feels like a bird that did not know it had wings and now suddenly realizes that it can fly, be free and no longer heeds to fear.”

The transformation from quail to eagle takes a lot of practice, maybe a lifetime of practice.  The Lord often reminds me, “Nannette, with me you can fly!!!”  But my name and today’s date is still right there in my bird book next to the little insecure quail.  Every once in a while the Lord gives me a taste for soaring and eagles wings.  It fills me with yearning for and a vision of the day when I do not ever ever vacillate.

What I have to do is take that yearning and my developing taste for flight and get practical.  I ask the Lord to help me make progress.  I ask Him to help me spend more and more time in the air and less and less time on the ground.  I ask Him to help me remember I can fly, and He does.  Then He reminds me that though the power is His, the choice is mine. So which will it be Nannette—Bird-Legs or Wings?  That’s what I have to ask myself every morning and every hour of the day.

By Nannette W.

Posted Saturday, April 28, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

So What Does Love Have To Do With It? – Step 2 Hope

Recently my brother stopped by for a short visit.  He came from North Carolina where he lives with his family and was accompanied by his son who just returned home from his mission.  Their ultimate destination was Idaho where my brother would help his son get settled for a new year of university education and then return home to North Carolina.

We are a close family, but we don’t see this particular brother/uncle very often.  That’s what makes it so curious that over the past little while my five year old granddaughter, Gracie, comments frequently to her mother, out of the blue, “I really love Uncle Paul.  I really miss him.”  Wondering if Gracie actually has any idea who she’s talking about my daughter finally had Gracie point him out to her the other day.  Dragging a kitchen chair over to the fridge, she climbed up, pointed to the Christmas card photo collage of aunts and uncles and cousins stuck on the refrigerator door and said, “That’s Uncle Paul!  I love him!”

On Sunday night as usual my children and grandchildren gathered at our house for Sunday dinner.  Before leaving home my daughter told Gracie that Uncle Paul was coming to dinner too.  Her response was, “Uncle Paul! (Gasp!) I love Uncle Paul!”  My daughter laughed at her little drama queen who has only seen this uncle a handful of times in her little life and proceeded up the hill to Grandma Nan’s house.

When Paul entered the house Gracie was standing on the staircase and pretended to faint when Paul entered the room.  All evening she was very attentive and as everyone departed she made sure that out of the 22 of us at dinner she said good-bye especially to her Uncle Paul. As he prepared to leave she handed him her own artistic rendering of the two of them together rolled into a scroll.  She gave him a big hug, and as he exited she said with a bit of sorrow in her voice, “Grandma, I’m really gonna to miss him!”

The next day I tended Gracie for a little while and as she chattered I questioned her, “Hey Gracie, how come you love Uncle Paul so much?”

“Cuz he loves me so much,” she responded.

“How do you know he loves you?”

“Well, he always hugs me and he always smiles when he sees me.”

As she scurried off to help her brothers with their Lego creations I thought, “Nannette, you’re being taught a big lesson in love from a five year old.” Her answers to my questions reminded of the very instructive words I discovered one day in 1 John 4:19 that speak of the relationship of a group of people in ancient times with my Eldest Brother, Jesus. “We love him, because he first loved us.”  In other words, their love for the Lord grew out of their knowing and experiencing His love for them.

Before discovering this verse, the only scripture I had memorized on the subject of loving the Lord was John 14:15 where Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).   This verse had always been a spring-board for feelings like, “Nannette, not only don’t you keep His commandments perfectly, but not doing so is actually a sign that you don’t love the Lord.”  That’s a painful thought for a little girl or a grown one.  But the Spirit of the Lord is an expert at cross referencing. When I finally discovered the eight words of scripture in 1 John the Lord linked them to the verse I had memorized as a child, the one I had used to beat myself up.  In fact seeing these two verses side by side—“We love him, because he first loved us” and If you love me, keep my commandments”—really got me thinking.

I don’t know if you are like me, but I always want to start with the “keep the commandments” part.  Maybe I need to start with the “love.”  I don’t know if you’re like me, but I always want to start with the “love Him” part, but maybe it’s more helpful to start with the “He loves me” part.  Maybe when I am struggling to be obedient the most beneficial thing I can do is pray to be aware of His love for me—to see it all around me and to believe it’s real, that it’s personal and as tender as I can imagine.  Then my keeping His commandments will be the fruit or the result of His love for me—His mercy, His grace, His sacrifice—His hugs and smiles undeserved.  My obedience will be my loving response to His love.

That’s what Gracie was really saying.  “Grandma, when I know I am loved, I love back.”

By Nannette W.

Posted Sunday, April 22, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All right reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

What’s In My Monkey Trap?

Yes! The Monkey Trap analogy! I love this “attention” getter. There’s a little attention getter like this at the beginning of every Gospel Doctrine lesson.  They’re all good, but this one I really understand.  I get it, maybe because it involves food.

The instructions to the teacher are to make a visual aid using a shoebox with a very short horizontal hole cut in the middle of the side of the box. Then explain to the class that “… a trap like this can be used to catch a monkey. A container is secured to the ground, and a treat (such as nuts or fruit) is placed inside. The hole in the container is large enough for a monkey’s empty hand to enter easily but too small for the monkey’s hand and the treat to come out together… A monkey sees the treat and reaches in to get it. Once the monkey grabs the treat, it will allow itself to be caught rather than let go of the treat. It will not sacrifice this prize for a greater one—its freedom (Lesson 17: “What Shall I Do That I May Inherit Eternal Life?” New Testament Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual).

The point of this description is to help us see that we make mistakes similar to the monkey.  There just may be something we are unwilling to let it go even if keeping it is causing us to lose something better—our freedom to make progress.

The first time I was introduced to this concept I knew my personal monkey trap, the one the devil has my name written all over, was full of kinds and quantities of food and behaviors toward food that definitely limited my freedom. I was in bondage to self-loathing and obesity.  No one ever caught me and hauled me off the zoo or to jail, but I did turn my body into its own kind of a prison. I was in bondage.  My obsessions in and around food and my unhealthy weight robbed me of energy and hijacked my mind every day for decades.

The next time this particular Sunday school lesson was taught and the monkey trap analogy was used I had taken each of the 12 Steps.  I was living in recovery from unhealthy eating. I’d lost my excess weight—97 pounds. I’d been released from the bondage of a problem that had held me captive for more than 40 years.  I thought I was done with everything I might learn from the monkey trap analogy, but the Lord had other ideas.

He helped me take another honest look, and I couldn’t have been more surprised at what I found lurking in my monkey trap.  There was my hand clenched around the fear of gaining my weight back, self-consciousness about what others thought about my weight loss and my food plan, and a bit of emptiness, wondering what on earth I was going to worry incessantly about if I continued to live in recovery from my obsession with food and weight. Can you believe that waking up every day and simply weighing the same was frightening to me? But it was.   Gone was all the big hoopla over pounds lost and what would I do without all the big drama over pounds gained. I found my hand in the monkey trap once again, only this time I was not clenching a fist full of food.  It was a fist full of fear.  Over time I am becoming willing and empowered by the Lord to let go, not only of unhealthy amounts of food, but of unhealthy—unwarranted fear involving my body.

There was something else in the box I don’t think I would have noticed if I hadn’t been abstaining from addictive eating—something I couldn’t see before.  In the box were painful character weaknesses, large and small, that had fueled my addiction all these years—things I couldn’t see as long as I was overeating. Now I could see my impatience, my desire for immediate gratification, my tendency to want to control everything and  everyone, my perfectionism, my pride—painful weaknesses I needed to let go of in order to secure my continued recovery—characteristics I was clinging to because they seemed to help me get through the hard times as much as food did.

As 2011 came to a close I had been blessed with three years of what we call, “back to back abstinence.”  Through the grace of God I had let go of physical weight and much of the fear of living at a healthy weight, and I was beginning to allow the Lord to chip away at my character defects. But there it was once again, the invitation in the Gospel Doctrine lesson to consider the monkey traps in my life.

This time my eyes were clear and wide open to the possibilities of what I might be clinging to in that old box, things that still slow my progress. This time I actually felt some excitement over what I might discover.  You may find that to be strange, but having let go of monkey bait several times through the power of the Lord, I have learned that the first two steps are to become aware and admit that I am clinging to something in that box—that I’m trapped, and then to practice believing that because of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ I can let go.  I can become free!  That’s exciting to me!

I’ve discovered that the devil knows exactly what to put in my box.  I also know that what’s in my box is not necessarily what’s in yours.  When the prophets tell us that Satan is crafty they’re not “just a kiddin’”!  Today I realize that Satan even puts things in the box that are good, really good—like my undying desire to be perfect and for all my children and your children to be perfect too.

What I know today is that anything I grab hold of—anything I want more than anything else can place me in bondage.  Freedom comes as I let go of all else, remove my hand from my personal “monkey bait” and take hold of the hand of the Lord.  As long as I live on the earth, the monkey trap will be filled with “treats” earmarked for me.  It’s not going away, but neither is the invitation and divine power to let go of the innumerable things that can hold me captive and to grab hold and cleave to the hand of the only One who can deliver me from bondage. In the scripture is says that, “he stretches forth his hands unto them all the day long” (Jacob 6:4). The Lord is close.  He’s standing right beside the trap. He’s waiting.  He knows I can’t even let go without His help.  Every day, multiple times each day, I ask the Lord for the power to pry my little fingers off this or that. I testify that nothing feels better or tastes better than being set free by Him.

I thank the Lord for lessons all around!  I may not believe my great great great great great grandpa was a monkey, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn something from the little furry primates.

By Nannette W.

Posted April 6, 2012

Copyright 2008 by Nannette W. All rights reserved. Making or sending copies is permitted if the page is not changed in any way and the material is not used for profit.  This notice must be included on each copy made or sent.

12 Steps: The Road to Recovery

Yesterday KSL TV aired a special on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program between LDS General Conference sessions.  Some of you have asked how you might listen to the program again or recommend it to others. Below is a link. There are four segments. I thought KSL did beautiful job.  I think they really captured the spirit of this wonderful work.  They highlighted three couples and the blessing of living in recovery from drug and alcohol, pornography, and food addiction.  It was a great privilege to be one of the participants.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=296&sid=19827401&title=a-ksl-special-12-steps—the-road-to-recovery

Love to you all,

Nannette

Addiction Recovery Channel 5 Broadcast

This is just a note to let you know that the church is doing a 30 minute broadcast on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program called “Twelve Steps – The Road to Recovery.”  It will air on Sunday at 12:30 pm between General Conference sessions on KSL Channel 5.  Below is the KSL promotional on You-Tube.  The Lord is using this program and these 12 powerful Gospel Principles or Steps to blessing many people’s lives.  I’m excited that the word is getting out.

http://youtu.be/vhFDCtCick0

Enjoy and love to all!

Nannette